Xion's Blog of Literature and Philosophy
by Mademoiselle Anime Amour
Summary: Only without the literature and without the philosophy. We were only joking about that. As the title says, Xion opens up a blogging website to all the KH characters. What can go wrong? Plenty.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm not that sure if this AU-ish fic will be appealing to you guys. I don't want to feel like I stole someone's idea, but I did read something called _The Hogwarts Blog _by Twilyght Sans Sparkles. Hope I got that person's pen name right. Anyway, I wanted to do something like it, only with KH. And different things happening of course, since I don't want to copy people. This is why I was so reluctant to begin with. Only the format is similar to The Hogwarts Blog, because I wasn't sure how to go about it. Well, I hope you guys like this anyway. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Subject: Welcome...**

**...**One and all to the blog that I, Xion with technically no rank number, put up. Free cookies for everybody! K, that was a joke. Anyway, I'm aware that SOME of us aren't that great with technology (*cough* Sora *cough, cough*). But, hopefully, you guys can all get laptops like yours truly did. They only cost about 50 munny...or so. Why is out currency spelled that way? This isn't the 100 Acre Wood! Right, back to the blog.

Well, for the old farts like Vexen who aren't hip and remember fondly the dinosaur age, a blog is a journal online. You can tell the whole world almost anything, including what you ate for breakfast. Me? I had scrambled eggs, some toast with strawberry jam, and bacon. And anyway, since this is like a community, anyone can get on here. Even Sora and those peeps. Hiiii! Oh, and there will be an IMing feature, too. Just so you know. I don't know. I'm kind of new at this myself. I barely got the laptop last week. So, hopefully, you guys have fun. Knock yourselves out. Hope people comment. Later.

**Comments:**

_Uh, Xion, I'm good with technology, actually. I mean, laptops don't suck you in to boring worlds where people talk like Geek Squad employees, do they?_

Sora

_No, Sora, they don't. God, I feel for you, though. Space Paranoids...blech._

Xion

_Yeah, but Tron was nice_

Sora

_Still...Space Paranoids...DX_

Xion

_Xion, your blog is not authorized by Organization XIII. I'm against this._

Xemnas

_Sure you are, Xemmy. But, this ain't a dictatorship online. It's a frickin' democracy! XD_

Xion

_...Very well, but if there's treason on here..._

Xemnas

_Chillax, old man, there won't be a word of it._

Xion

_Then, why did our enemy comment earlier?_

Xemnas

_Forget you!_

Xion

_I have many bones to pick with you, Fourteen. I AM NOT OLD!_

Vexen

_Yeah, and Sora isn't the Keyblade Master either. You need some chillaxing, too. XP_

Xion

_I'm spluttering right now. You won't like me when I'm spluttering..._

Vexen

_Dude, I don't like you at all. Oooh, _Family Guy _is on!_

Xion

* * *

**Subject: Org. XIII**

Listen up, my Organization XIII peeps, I'm thinking I was being too lenient earlier when I said "knock yourselves out." The good guys will, hopefully, post on here. Or, as Xemmy so charmingly put it, our enemies. But BE NICE! If you're not nice to our online guests, I won't be nice. I got PMS in a gun, y'all, so beware.

I want politeness on here...for the most part. You guys good? Good.

**Comments:**

_Thanks for having our backs, Xion_

Sora

_Any time, but I was serious about my warning. You be nice to the Org. too. Now blog away!_

Xion

* * *

**A/N: ****Oh, I got a sort of PS to tell you guys. For pop culture's sake as well as for comedy's sake, I'm putting in pop culture references. From time to time, I will, of course. Because what's life without those little things? Right? I know I get randomly excited whenever I see a pop culture reference that's used in a funny way. Oh, and also the characters are also self-aware that they are in a game. Remember, this is basically a humor/parody, so almost anything can happen.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I felt like the first chapter didn't feel long enough. That's why I'm updating twice in one day. You can only go so far with blogs per chapter, I guess. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**The Spiky Haired One's Thoughts**

**Sora**

Wow, my first blog entry. This is so cool! I can talk about anything, and anyone can read it. Surprisingly, I'm not that scared about it. Probably because I'm so open about everything, everyone knows. Hm, I'm not good at telling my thoughts. Not like I have an empty head or anything. I'm a guy. We don't think much. Unless you're someone brooding like Leon or Cloud who think all the time. Today I leapt off one of the coconut trees into the ocean. Riku dared me to. Kairi freaked out, though, but she'll get over it. Just another day on my beach home.

**Comments:**

_Wow, you have officially made me jealous. :D However, I got one thing to say. You might want to change the title of your blog. See, there's all sorts of spiky haired guys._

Xion

_Oh, come on! My hair is the spikiest. Who do you think I mean?_

Sora

_Well, there's Cloud. And Axel. And Roxas. And maybe that Wakka guy, but it looks like he has one of those stupid faux hawks._

Xion

_Oh...Yeesh, I wish Roxas hadn't stolen my hairdo._

Sora

_I don't know, Sora. Axel's hair is way spikier._

Riku

_Way to be a BFF, man. DX_

Sora

_Cry about it. XD_

Riku

_I am death glaring at you for all eternity. Never mind, I'm hungry._

Sora

* * *

**A Day in the Life**

**Xion**

I read the news today, oh boy. I love that song, so I'm using it as the title here. Who doesn't love The Beatles? Come on! OK, so a lot of stuff happened to me today. First off, Axel, Roxas, and I were watching _Spiderman _in that mini-theater we have. It's pretty sweet. It's got six comfy chairs and a popcorn machine, state-of-the-art. It was Xaldin's idea we have one, actually. Setting the record straight, that's the only time I've _ever _liked the guy. Creepy perv preys on eighteen-year-old girls. Blech!

So, we were watching _Spiderman_, and Roxas is all like, "What's with the upside down kiss?"

And Axel's like, "It's to make the chicks happy," so I'm all like, "Dude, that's sexist!" Then, we brawled. We brawled until...I don't remember. All I know is I got a concussion now, thanks to Axel-who-hasn't-paid-me-back-for-that-last-bet-we-had. You _so _owe me!

**Comments:**

_FYI, Xi, I don't owe U NYTHING!_

Axel

_Use proper English grammar, Axe._

Xion

_I'm not English, I'm Asian!_

Axel

_Tricked ya into using grammar. XD_

Xion

_Damn it! K, I guess I do owe you a SMALL AMOUNT of munny._

Axel

_For the record, I detest these Beatles._

Saix

_Dude, you're officially dead to me, and I will block you. BLOCK! There, pwned._

Xion

* * *

**My Blog**

**Riku**

Sora's right. There's not much to talk about when you're living in paradise. I would suggest for us to get away—but, I remember the last time that happened. Right...I can't really explain how the Organization suddenly got resurrected. I'm surprised Xion managed to create this site. Actually, I'm surprised she could even create a site in the first place. Without any help, too. That's amazing. Great job, Xion.

**Comments:**

_Wow...I have so many obscenities in my head right now, I could scream them all at once to you. So, I will. #*5.,#**..,;6 OK, I just pounded random keys on my keyboard, but you get the idea. Oh, nice blog title too, pretty boy._

Xion

_...I hurt you, didn't I?_

Riku

_Oh, quit joking!_

Xion

_Sorry._

Riku

_Yeah, me too...but, you ARE a pretty boy._

Xion

_That I am. XP_

Riku

_Cocky little..._

Xion

_Don't finish that sentence. :D_

Riku

_You bet. ;D_

Xion

_No flirting online!_

Xemnas

* * *

**A/N: ****That is all for today. I hope you guys like this. Review please! XD**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sadly, guys, I have to go back to school tomorrow. Which probably means updates on the weekends. Or, maybe what I'll do is start typing up the chapters without writing them long-hand first. Because writing takes too long sometimes! Anyway, here you go.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**A Day in the Life**

**Xion**

You know what? I've been thinking. Shocker, Riku, I know! But, um, I was bantered with him yesterday, speaking of which. I don't know if he was intentionally after hurting my feelings or not. I...What? Axe, this ain't your blog, honey! No, I won't prank Larx today. I'm not in the mood! Wha? No, don't look at it. No, it's not about a guy beyond friend level. I'm not even sure he's my friend yet. Oh, forget it. Forget it, I'm logging off. Ciao.

**Comments:**

_Xion, I can be your friend, I guess. I'm just cautious around you and the other Nobodies._

Riku

_Aw! But, I don't like being called a Nobody. Even if it's what I am._

Xion

_Hey, don't listen to me. I can be a jerk sometimes._

Riku

_Yeah, a major cute jerk! ;D_

Xion

_I will say it once more. NO. FLIRTING. ONLINE._

Xemnas

_Xemmy, type one more word, and you're blocked._

Xion

_..._

Xemnas

_That's what I thought. XP_

Xion

_You go tell him off, Xion!_

Axel

* * *

**GingerWimp**: *signs in* Hey, what's up?

**AllThatandaRingofKeys**: Kairi...? What is up with your online name?

**GingerWimp**: My new goal in life is to be self-deprecating. But, I am a wimp. I have ginger hair. So, bite me! What's with yours, Sora?

**AllThatandaRingofKeys**: It's perfect! What do U mean?

**GingerWimp**: You don't own a ring of keys. And if memory serves, you once locked yourself out of your house.

**AllThatandaRingofKeys**: It didn't happen again, did it?

**GingerWimp**: Well...no.

**SitarHero9**: *signs in* 'Sup!

**AllThatandaRingofKeys:** Demyx, what are you doing here? You're accosting minors, you know.

**SitarHero9:** I just turned 18 last mo.!

**AllThatandaRingofKeys:** Accosting minors!

**GingerWimp:** Give it a rest, Sora. He's not that old.

**IceIceBaby:** *signs in* No, HE isn't. I am!

*GingerWimp, AllThatandaRingofKeys, and SitarHero9 all sign out*

* * *

**Blinded Me with Science**

**Vexen**

These kids today don't know the first thing about respecting their elders! I wanted to join in an (what's it they call?) e-chat, but those meddling kids wouldn't let me. They all signed out! Don't know what Nine was doing, talking to our enemies, but I suppose he wanted to talk about ponies. That sissy can't fight his way out of a paper bag. It's common knowledge here in TWTNW. Well, never mind. Soon, my blog will be so popular, those childish underlings will bow to it. I don't need to be in an e-chat to have a good time. Long as I have comments, I will rule this site!

**Comments:**

_No comments_

* * *

**The **_**Brunet **_**Spiky Haired One's Thoughts**

**Sora**

There, that should be better. See, I doubt there's not too many spiky haired guys who are brunet, now are there? XD I mean, most of the guys Xion mentioned were blond. But, Roxas doesn't count, because he's my Nobody who stole my spikes. K, maybe you can't see any similarities, cuz he's a Pineapple Head. I will call him that from this point onward. Oh, Pineapple Head, Pineapple Head, Pineapple Head! If he's anything like Beetlejuice, he'll appear on my blog right...about...now. I shall stalk my comments area now.

**Comments:**

_Wow, man...Don't U realize U _still _need to change the blog name title? I'm pretty sure Zack Fair's hair is brown and spiky._

Axel

_Wha? Wha? Come ON, dude, give me a break! Zack's from a different gaming FRANCHISE! And he hasn't even shown up in our games yet. And, besides, his hair is black! BLACK!_

Sora

_Brown. XP_

Axel

_Black!_

Sora

_Brown._

Axel

_I'm not even going to dignify that with the response of black it's freaking black!_

Sora

_K, I appeared on UR blog. BTW, U and me at Memory's Skyscraper l8er._

Roxas

_Oh, crap._

Sora

* * *

**A/N: ****For the record, I'm agreeing with Sora on Zack's hair color. XD Anyway, wow, guys, I can't believe the number of e-mails I got pertaining to this story, only two chapters in! Thanks a lot! XD**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hope you like the title of Roxas' blog. XD And Kairi's blog I haven't even written down yet, but I will get to it eventually. I got school. Junior year is too busy and there's hardly anybody worthwhile to talk to in my classes. It makes me sad, cuz I want a social life so bad.**

**Anyway, I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Tales of a Nobody Nothing**

**Roxas**

I kicked Sora's behind (again...I'd like to say) around the same place we fought at last time. I don't think I look like a Pineapple Head at all. I know there was a Coconut Head off this one show about a guy with a notebook of tips. How is my hair like a pineapple? Can anybody explain that to me? Grr...Well, Sora's hair looks like a...looks like a...What the heck does it look like? Oh yeah, a coconut tree's leaves. XP I so pwned him right there. I think it's cuz we're so different that we don't get along. He's all Mr. Happy Sunshine, and according to Axel, I'm the little emo kid. I'm not emo! I got the voice of an ex-boy bander and ex-Aaron Carter wannabe, gosh dang it! I think I got it worse than Sora.

**Comments:**

_Coconut tree leaves? I think you can do better than that. XP_

Sora

_Well, I cant and I wont, got it?_

Roxas

_*sighs* Do I detect some animosity on THIS blog?_

Xion

_Uh...Uh, no, Xion. I, you know..._

Roxas

_Yeah, yeah, the next time you try to pick on Sora, you're blocked from my blog._

Xion

_U cant do that!_

Roxas

_I just did. XD Seriously, my emo friend, lighten up. I'll unblock you if you agree._

Axel

_Grr...all right._

Roxas

* * *

**Hell Hath Fury**

**Axel**

Hahaha, see what I did with that phrase? I took the "no" out, because I'm the fire guy, get it? OK, never mind, I don't want to make any future fans wince in agony. -_- And I know the rest of the phrase goes "for a woman scorned." I'm not a woman, though, contrary to popular belief. I'm looking at you, Saix. And whoever makes one more Youtube video of me with the song "Hips Don't Lie", I will treat you to what hell really looks like. _That's _looking at you, Xigbar. Think you're so funny, do you? I bet you lost your eye in a poker game.

Hm, what'd I do today? Glad you asked, I'll give you an answer. Darth Xemnas sent me on a mission today, which involved absolutely nothing. I don't get it. The good guys won ages ago! Why are we still trying to _foil _them? We're no better than James Bond villains, damn it! Early James Bond, not like in the '90's when they started getting smart, I think. I don't know, ask Xig, he's the dorkiest fan I know. So, anyway, I found this random box, and it was filled with all kinds of rock CDs. I admit, I stole it. I've been listening to them since. And they rock, man. THEY ROCK! XD

**Comments: **

_What? How'd you know that's how I lost my eye? HOW DID YOU KNOW?_

Xigbar

_Lucky guess. I guess I took a _gamble _and called your _bluff. _XD_

Axel

_Don't remind me, man! Don't remind me! (frantic)_

Xigbar

_Did somebody say poker? You know, you can play it online. The name of the game is Texas hold 'em..._

Luxord

_God, not now, Lux. I gotta listen to my new CDs. CU._

Axel

* * *

**AntiAnybody14**: *signs in* Anybody here?

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: *signs in* Hey, Xion!

**AntiAnybody14**: Riku? That better not be you.

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: And why would that be a bad thing?

**AntiAnybody14**: Well, for one thing, your online name means you're unbelievably cocky. Plus, that song is about a male model.

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: It is?

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: So? It's a fictional male model. FICTIONAL!

**AntiAnybody14**: Riku, you're so much smarter than a stupid male model. I mean that from the bottom of my anti-heart.

**DarthSuperior**: *signs in* No flirting online! Fourteen, do not bother to degrade yourself in using your feminine wiles with the enemy.

**AntiAnybody14**: Oh here we go again! Sorry, Riku, I'm signing off now. *signs off*

**DarthSuperior**: ...

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: ...

**DarthSuperior**: Adequate web name.

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: Thanks. U2.

**DarthSuperior**: ...Sunday, bloody Sunday...

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: Oh, I get it. Well.

**DarthSuperior:** Well...

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: I'll just be signing off now. I got to do that thing...at the thing. You understand, right?

**DarthSuperior**: I most certainly do.

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: K, then, bye.

**DarthSuperior**: Farewell.

**TooSexyforMyShirt**: *signs off*

**DarthSuperior**: ...Hormonal teenagers...*signs off*

**Subject: Missing CDs**

My rock CDs seemed to have gone missing the other day. Tuesday, I think it was. Anyway, if anyone knows what happened to them, contact me.

Because I really want my copy of _Dark Side of the Moon _back. And _Animals. _Pink Floyd is awesome.

**Posted by: Leon**

**Comments:**

_Hm, I think I find Led Zeppelin more to my liking._

Axel

_Axel...Do you know anything about my CDs? I'm thinking one of your Organization pals stole them._

Leon

_Well...you shouldn't have left them out in the first place. Ah, well, later._

Axel

* * *

**Subject: Flirting Online**

Number (yet not a number considering she's not a true Nobody) Fourteen especially knows what I am talking about here. Flirting is a serious offense in my eyes. It involves PDA, the most horrid acronym ever to be invented. I feel that it will be a less obnoxious environment if hormonal teenagers such as yourselves stop flirting online. We get it. You want to (what's the term?) go out on dates with each other. Just leave us elders out of it.

**Posted by: Xemnas**

**Comments:**

_You know what, Xem? Stay out of our chatrooms and let kids be kids!_

Xion

_Yeah, and I'm not even flirting with Xion. We're just bantering._

Riku

_I have a girlfriend, dammit, and I'm sending her as many eKisses as I want! D:_

Sora

* * *

**A/N: ****I'm actually not that big a Pink Floyd fan. I do enjoy them from time to time, no doubt. But, I swear Led Zeppelin has no equal, 'cept, of course, The Beatles. Did you hear they're making a movie about John Lennon's teen years, speaking of which? They got the dude from "Kick-Ass" playing John. Weird, I know, but his accent is pretty good. Though I was terrified when I saw the trailer on this show with upcoming trailers, cuz I thought it was Nick Jonas at first.**

**Anyway, my mind wanders. So, how'd you like my theory on how Xig lost his eye? XD And what about Riku's web name, huh?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm so sorry, guys. I won't be able to update as often because of school. I'll probably be getting a lot of homework each day, and it's going to make my head explode. And I've been kind of stressed this week. So, here's the update. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**My Blog of Awesomeness**

**Riku**

I'm terrible with coming up with titles for anything. But hey, better than "My Blog", right? Hm, today, Sora, Kairi, and I went to the mall. I know with all those beachhouses, you wouldn't think there would be an actual town here. But, there is. It's pretty nice, actually. Has a bookstore, a couple cafés, a Cheesecake Factory—all that great stuff. Anyway, we went to the mall, and we met up with Selphie. Unfortunately for me, she was trying to flirt with me. I had no idea what was up with that, especially with her supposedly flirty winking. It looked like she was trying to get gunk out of her eye. And I've had to block her temporarily. Um...help?

**Comments:**

_I'd say carry a can of pepper spray at all times. XD No, seriously, let her down gently. Be so irresistibly sweet that she will feel unworthy and avoid you._

Xion

_K, thanks. :D_

Riku

_Oh, hey, you two!_

Namine

_Nami, you got on here, finally._

Xion

_I live here now—in Destiny Islands—but I'll come to TWTNW and visit._

Namine

_No, you really shouldn't. Saix will go werewolf on you._

Xion

_Selphie bothers you? I thought she was nice._

Sora

_No, she isn't, Sora. She's a schemer._

Riku

* * *

**Tales of a Nobody Nothing**

**Roxas**

I've decided to make up with Sora. I guess he's not so bad. Though I expect him to say, "I see dead people" for some reason. IDK. So, anyway, I borrowed one of Axel's stolen CDs. BTW, Axe, you might need to return those some time. I heard Leon's not someone to mess with. I heard this really good song called "Highway to Hell" today. And for some reason, I was rocking out to it in the hallway. WOOT! Heck with it. I love AC/DC now. Thanks, Axe, and forget what I said.

We need music in our lives. We need to rock.

**Comments:**

_You are in on a CD stealing plot, I understand. Are you sure you did not take the advice of a band called Chumbawumba?_

Xemnas

_Who?_

Roxas

"_Tubthumping." They're British anarchists who encouraged their fans to steal one of their albums at one point. Or so I have read._

Xemnas

_Ohhh, wait, what plot? I was hallucinating. I watched too much _Lost _again. _

Roxas

_Did Xem sign off?_

Axel

_I think so._

Roxas

_Then I got this to say. ROCK ON, LITTLE BUDDY! (holds up devil horns)_

Axel

_Thanx. XD_

Roxas

* * *

**Ramblings from a Sith Lord**

**Xemnas**

I regret allowing this blog to exist. It appears as though my members are doing some fairly underhanded things behind my back. Number Fourteen is apparently flirting with one of the Keyblade Master's (aka the number one enemy's) best friends. I observe that this best friend discusses things so mundane that I fail to understand why Number Fourteen is so attracted to him. And as for Number Eight, he has smuggled some CDs illegally to this castle. Fool. He could land this Organization into severe trouble. This Leon/Squall character is very imposing.

Then, of course, Number Thirteen is obviously in on it. That is Saix's belief. What is wrong with my members? They are supposed to do as they're told, but with this blog, they're far too brave. They ignore me, become condescending toward me, and are blatantly rude. Worst of all, they comment on our enemies' blog posts. I desperately wish to shut this down.

**Comments:**

_I'm not flirting with Riku. I'm BANTERING. Idiot._

Xion

_I am thankful that you acknowledged me, Xemnas._

Saix

_Any time, my dear friend. :D_

Xemnas

_Aw, Xemmy and Saix, sitting in a tree. M-A-K-I-N-G O-U-T!_

Axel

_Why did I forget to block you?_

Xemnas

_Maybe your memory fails you, old man._

Riku

_Nice one, Riku! XD_

Xion

* * *

**Diary of an Artist**

**Namine**

Though I guess I'm not that much of an artist. The other day, I realized that my drawings look like they're from the preschool down the street. I need to step up my game. Even Kairi can't say one nice thing about them. Sora tries not to laugh. Riku does, that insensitive jerk! Well, at least they all believe I can do better, unlike some members of the Organization (glares at Larxene). My life down here is way better than living with Org. XIII. Roxas has stayed with them, though, probably because he values his friends more than me. I can only wonder...

**Comments:**

_Aw, don't worry, Nami. Everything will be OK._

Kairi

_You think?_

Namine

'_Course, things get worse before they get better._

Sora

_That's actually not that comforting, Sora_

Kairi

_Sorry I laughed at your drawings. I didn't know it bothered you that much._

Riku

_It's OK, Riku. I laugh at them now myself._

Namine

_Hey, I do value you. I'll visit some time, K?_

Roxas

_K. :D_

Namine

_:D_

Roxas

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: I gotta say, guys, the RokuNami may not last long. I'm just saying. Besides, they're not even dating as of this blog post. BTW, did you like Xemnas' blog title? I personally loved it. XD


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Junior year sux. And math is killing me, not grade-wise but homework-wise. I hate math. And I feel lonely sometimes too, but that's just a given. Updating this story is making me feel better. Not like I'm depressed today. BTW, I got a copy of FFVII, cuz my mom was at a yard sale. Vintage! XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Hell Hath Fury**

**Axel**

I ALMOST got busted today for the, you know, CDs. Why? Well, I think the big cheese wanted to get me into some major hot water, pardon the pun. Is it piracy if you take someone's CDs? I hope not. Did you know what happened to that Napster kid? No thanks, I'm not going to court. I don't even own any suits, just regulation robes. That's the thing about those robes. We either look like a college fraternity or the Death Eaters off _Harry Potter_. Could we come up with more original ideas? And even the color would have been better if we'd been more original. Brown or gray is OK. Not black, it's cliché!

Right, so I was at the town square at Hollow Bastion when I saw this ninja chick. I'm pretty sure her name is...Yuffie. Is that right? Anyway, apparently Leon told her to ask me if I knew anything about those CDs. My response was that I saw someone throw them off a cliff before I high-tailed it and left.

OK, if anyone asks, Saix did it in a fit of rage.

**Comments:**

_Smooth, Axe, real smooth. You do realize we're totally screwed now, right?_

Roxas

_Come on, it's not like I was specific about who it was!_

Axel

_That had to be the worst lie in the history of lying. Yuffie's not that dim, though some people beg to differ._

Roxas

_You don't get it, man. We're Org. XIII. Leon will wipe us all out._

Axel

_Point taken._

Roxas

_See? Besides, we'll blame this on Saix, eventually._

Axel

* * *

**The One and Only Keyblade Master's Thoughts**

**Sora**

There, that should cover it. And I refuse to change my blog title this time, so don't get technical on me, guys. Besides, I asked Aerith through a chatroom yesterday, and she said Zack's hair is black. So, take that, Axel! Then again, he's a guy like me, so we don't pay attention to the hair color of other guys. Same goes for eyes. We're not a very observant bunch. But, hey, if we were, the world would end. XD

Today, Riku and I came up with this plot to get Selphie off my best friend's back. She is really starting to disturb him. So, we did the guy thing when we saw her at the mall and pretended to be aloof. I felt bad, though, after Selphie started bawling. Then, Riku turned on his charm by telling her gently he wasn't into her that way. I wonder why we had had to set up a plot to begin with. Oh well, I think she got the message.

**Comments:**

_Well, at least Riku followed my advice...eventually._

Xion

_Oh, you know guys. They hate admitting we're right._

Kairi

_Amen to that!_

Namine

_I hope Selph's OK...even though she seems a wee bit touched in the head._

Xion

_That's just the way she is._

Kairi

_Yeah, Xi, she's really not insane. Maybe she'll go with Wakka now._

Sora

_BTW, Sora, UR giving us dudes a bad name. Even tho UR rite..._

Roxas

* * *

**Music is Life**

**Demyx**

K, so as pretty much this whole Organization knows by now, Axel got a hold of some CDs from Hollow Bastion. I say we've pretty much enjoyed listening to them ever since. My personal preference is Rush. "The Spirit of Radio" is totally awesome! I mean, can you hear that wickedly skilled guitar playing on that track? We've gotten to listen to music before, obviously, but that was only limited to music videos on VH1 Classic, since they're pretty much the only channel to play classic rock videos. All in all, the good videos. I don't know why Xemnas told us not to own CDs before.

All we can own is books, clothes, and a TV. It's prison with only slightly better perks. My theory is that Xem likes to feel he's in control. I can't believe he's not into music at all. I know he's old, but shouldn't he be into it to some degree? And Axel hasn't even offered him any CDs from that box. Probably because he's worried that he'll be ratted on and end up in a piracy lawsuit with Leon. I can't say I blame him, but if he gets Xemnas hooked, the ban will be lifted.

Hey, I'm curious. Do the rest of you have a band preference?

**Comments:**

_Green Day is pretty rad._

Xion

_Megadeth for me._

Luxord

_I would say...Queen._

Zexion

_Nirvana all the way!_

Roxas

_Well, everyone knows I like Iron Maiden by now._

Marluxia

* * *

**GurlyGurlGurl: **Hey, Sor-Sor!

**AllThatandaRingofKeys: **Kairi, if that's you, I would have to break up with you.

**GurlyGurlGurl: **No, it's me, Selph. :D

**AllThatandaRingofKeys: **Oh...Oh, I should have known it was you. What up?

**GurlyGurlGurl: **I'm afraid I'm still crushing on him.

**AllThatandaRingofKeys: **You know, I really hate that spelling of "girl."

**GurlyGurlGurl: **Don't change the subject! (pouts)

**AllThatandaRingofKeys: **Oooh, pouting. Ah, never mind. Look, Riku really isn't into you.

**GurlyGurlGurl: **Why? What's wrong with me?

**AllThatandaRingofKeys: **Nothing. You're just not his type. Sorry.

**GurlyGurlGurl: **K...

**AllThatandaRingofKeys: **Good. XD Glad we got this settled.

* * *

**Malls=4ever**

**Selphie**

I'm still going to get Riku to like me. I'm not the type to give up easily. I try again and again and again until I succeed. It's like with shopping. You go day after day until you find the best sale. It's like that with guys, too. All you do is wrap them around your little finger, and good things happen. I hope. I mean, it can't be that hard to convince Riku, right? Even after what Sor-Sor said.

**Comments:**

_Sor-Sor? I think I'm going to throw up, my friend. He would break up with me if I called him that. And sounds like Riku's just not that into you. Sorry._

Kairi

_You...won't...get...Riku. Ever! Not to be a bitch or anything. XP_

Xion

_Xi, do you like him?_

Namine

_I'm...not...sure..._

Xion

* * *

**A/N: ****Oooh, Xi's jealous! XD To respond to one of my reviewers, yes, I like Rion. But, will it be in this story? You'll have to read more to find out. BTW, sorry if I don't update so often any more or reply back to you guys. I've been busy with school stuff. Ugh...DX**

**As for the FFVII game, it rocks. Cheesy graphics, but the scenery is beautiful in those games. Besides, it was a PS1 game. For readers younger than my age, it was that gray console thingie and graphics weren't so great back then.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Gotta admit to you, guys, this chapter is weird in terms of mood. Like I started writing this in an off-mood, but by the end of it, it was back to its somewhat funny self. However, chapter 8 will be way funnier, I promise you. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**Diary of an Artist**

**Namine**

I'm hurting right now. Like really bad. My eyes are red from crying and everything. Here's what happened. And, luckily since I have the support of good friends on here, I'll tell you. It was sudden. See, Roxas did come over, and you know how it _seemed _like we'd been crushing on each other for a few months now?

Long story short, I...I told him I liked him...

And he said he didn't return my feelings, that he saw us as BFFs only. It hurts a lot. I can't type any more, my fingers are shaking.

**Comments:**

_Aw, Nami, I'm so sorry! T_T I'm crying for you right now. And...and I think he likes Olette. I wasn't sure, though. I thought he liked you, too. I'm sorry. Let me give you an Internet hug._

Xion

_Thanx._

Namine

_Yeah, girls like us will always stick around for you. Friends forever! Oh, and like Xi said, Internet hug._

Kairi

_This really means a lot, you guys. You have no idea._

Namine

_He might like...me? I thought you would have been better for him. Look, Nam, guys come and go. You'll find someone. Internet hug from _moi, _too!_

Olette

_Thank U, Lette. I'm crying tears of joy, believe it or not. XD_

Namine

_That's OK, as long as you're a teeny bit happy again. :D_

Xion

* * *

**Tales of a Nobody Nothing**

**Roxas**

I feel like I'm worth nothing right now. I let Namine down gently, cuz I really only see her as a friend. I think that one emoticon from that one time made it seem I liked her back in that way. God, I'm stupid! No wonder she wanted me to value her as more than a friend. But, I've been realizing lately that I do like Olette beyond friendship. With Lette, that realization came the other day.

We were listening to music on her iPod on the clock tower before she kissed me on the cheek. I got a rush of emotions/maybe anti-emotions(?) at that moment. And I felt terrible for Nam the following day, I really did. I...I didn't know she cried. That must have been after I left. Damn, I'm awful. I wish I could make it all better, but I can't give her those feelings. I should have told her sooner, less sudden. I feel like I've let down one of my best friends.

I broke her heart. Is that even forgivable?

**Comments:**

_Don't worry, Rox. I was never mad at you. I admit, resentful, but how long does that last? BFFs forever. OK?_

Namine

_Guess I'll have to give you 1 of those Internet hugs Xion was talking about earlier._

Roxas

_XD That would be nice. Thank U._

Namine

_Roxas, what up? Look, man, I'm sorry that you're beating yourself up, but you had feelings for someone else. You couldn't help it._

Axel

_I know...I guess. Thanx, Axe._

Roxas

_Any time, little buddy, any time._

Axel

* * *

**Hell Hath Fury**

**Axel**

Why is everyone breaking up? Actually, I should say, why is everyone having broken hearts all of a sudden? Oh well, someone needs to liven this blog up. But, um, I have a confession to make on here. So, uh, here goes. Deep breath and...

...I think I might really like Namine.

Ever since that day in Castle Oblivion, there was something so cute and innocent in that wide-eyed expression of hers when I set her free. It made me want to hold her, if only for five seconds, just to feel whole. Cheesy, I know, but...that's just how I felt. The same way Roxas did for Olette. Though for Nam's sake, I feel kinda bad for her.

Right, my day. I pranked Saix (what else is new?) by putting a whole little shaker of pepper all over his breakfast. He was sneezing up a storm and everything. The whole Org (well, 'cept Xemnas and the always humorless Mr. Freeze aka Vexen) was laughing so hard, I saw some tears. I swear to ya, I saw some tears! Thought we couldn't cry or laugh or both, huh? Well, Xemmy is wrong. WRONG!

Oh, and to Namine, hope you're OK. Internet hug for you.

**Comments:**

_Well, Eight, well done. I am about to wave the white flag of surrender. Now we have Internet hugs. Joy._

Xemnas

_I'll annoy you more. Happy happy, joy joy, happy happy, joy joy, happy happy..._

Axel

_Oh, you stopped. Good._

Xemnas

_I don't think UR happy enough. Happy happy, joy joy, happy happy, joy joy...XD_

Axel

_OMG, Axel, that was hilarious! LOL! UR blog really made my day, BTW._

Namine

_Thanx, Namine, always ready to please U._

Axel

* * *

**A Day in the Life**

**Xion**

Also the song that was voted number one in a Beatles Top 1oo songs list. WOOT! No wonder it's my favorite song of all time. Then again, I like "Dude Looks Like a Lady" a lot, because I'm reminded of Marluxia every time I hear it. That song makes me laugh. Oh, and I'm also reminded of Axel's rather girly looking hips, too. By the way, guys, there's been so much drama going on lately. Namine went through—well, _something_—with Roxas that wound her up in tears. And Axel has displayed this very caring concern over her. In the meantime, I want to carve Selphie up like a turkey for acting all _Fatal Attraction _on Riku. Hopefully, no rabbits will be harmed, or PETA will be on her ass.

Yep, there's enough drama on here to make Facebook cringe. Hmph, and I thought founding this blogging website would prevent this crap. By the way, I'm too lazy to switch sites. I don't even go on MySpace any more anyway. And Twitter's just stupid. That site is basically people talking about what they had for breakfast this morning. Me? I had—wait, déjà vu, so I'm gonna stop before I start.

Well, gotta go. I gotta put up a special notice that pretty much pertains to everybody on (or not on) here.

**Comments:**

"_Dude Looks Like a Lady." You're kidding, right? -_-_

Marluxia

_Of course I am, Marly. Nothing screams masculinity more than entering in a burst of rose petals._

Xion

_I am going out with Larxene. You do know that, right?_

Marluxia

_And THAT'S supposed to make us believe you're straight?_

Axel

_To the jerk who basically said I was a lesbian...DIE!_

Larxene

* * *

**A/N: ****Ah, yes, turned out to be just another day for Xion's Blog at the end there. XD What Xion said at the beginning of her blog is true by the way. I heard some guy talk about it on the radio, and this is honestly the number one Beatles song by vote: "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/A Day in the Life", considering they're a song together for some reason. My personal fave is "Across the Universe", song not the movie. I was afraid to watch the movie after what my fellow Beatles lover friend told me about it.**

**K, anyway, I've never seen Fatal Attraction, but I know there's this one scene when the crazy lady cooks a kid's rabbit. It's pretty gross not to mention sad. I love bunnies!**

**Anyway, from now on, the chapters will be shorter, so I can put out more in one day-well, two at max. but whatever. XD**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Whew, I didn't think I'd be able to put up two chapters of this in one day. Mostly because my computer's been running slow to the point I got somewhat irritated. But, it's all good now. I think you'll like the title of Kairi's blog BTW. XD**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Subject: High-Maintenance Thoughts from a Low-Maintenance Girl**

Normally, I don't believe in making my subject titles so long unless there's a good reason behind it. So, guys, weird crap's been going on, so there's going to be some dust settling. First of all, I need to individually address people.

Kairi—quit procrastinating and put up your blog already. FORGET SPELL-CHECK!

Roxas—please don't be so wrapped up in your angst. We saw it enough in KH2 and 358/2 Days. Got it? Then again, I was pretty angsty in Days, too. Hm...I still don't believe in being emo!

Larxene—don't kill Axe. Just don't. He's the Fred Weasley of our Org. And Roxas is George. We NEED them.

Xemnas—as the majority of us are teenagers, our hormones are raging like the Running of the Bulls. Leave them kids alone!

And 5) Riku—here's keeping an eye on you, kid. Guess who's hanging out at your blog now? Fangirls. Frickin' fangirls have made your blog #1 on here. Because of your STUPID webname I want you to change.

Got it, guys? As for the rest of you, try to make this online environment as bearable as possible. Thank you.

**Posted by: Xion**

**Comments:**

_All hail the dictator! XD_

Axel

_Shaddup, Axe. XP_

Xion

_K, Xi, how bout this for a webname: StudMuffin18._

Riku

_NO, RIKU! DX_

Xion

_Then, how bout SweetSauceAllOverMyBody?_

Riku

_Ill use of a great Dane Cook joke, Riku._

Roxas

_Then...Exorcised16. U know, cuz of Ansem and that crap I went through?_

Riku

_Dark and creepy. I like. XD_

Xion

* * *

**Don't Wanna Be a Mary Sue Idiot**

**Kairi**

How's that for a blog title? I know, it doesn't sound like the name of a daily blog or an every other daily blog but whatever. I've been called this sickening name too many times to count. I'll prove everyone wrong. Then again, I don't like to be the shunted-aside, typical female character who does nothing but love the protagonist. Like love doesn't involve kicking some butt once in a while. Which, I point out, I epicly failed to the last time. It was so embarrassing. The haters didn't let me get away with it. Crap...

And that Keyblade—are you kidding me? How come Riku gets this awesome goth looking one, Sora gets whatever the heck he wants, and I get one with flowers? That's not fair!

I also didn't like that outfit they forced me to wear. It was in my stupid contract that I wore as little as possible. I was pretty much the only chick to have to be subjected to that. I hate being the main guy's love interest, if it means I have to abide by a dumb contract. This better pay off, that's all I'm saying. Right, darn, now I forgot what I was going to mention on here today. Something about Selphie, I think? Aw, well, I'll talk about it tomorrow.

**Comments:**

_So you're not really a slut?_

Xion

_No, Xi, I'm not. I'm wearing jeans right now. XD_

Kairi

_Contracts suck, don't they? Mine told me to be angsty._

Xion

_Mine told me I had to be girlfriend-less._

Riku

_And _my _contract told me I had to have my voice changed in the PS2 game between KH1 and KH2. I was SUPPOSED to still be 14._

Sora

_Square Enix contracts are senseless._

Namine

* * *

**A/N: ****K, I'm not really bashing Square Enix, just having a little fun here. XD I actually love Square Enix. They're basically the only ones still coming out with good video games. Or maybe not, considering Square Enix games are all I've played for the past two years. XD Anyway, I just made this connection earlier: I had Kairi make a Green Day reference, and Xion said she liked Green Day in an earlier chapter. That's definitely coincidence, cuz I basically forgot this at the time.**

**Yes, RIP for Riku's old webname. But, do you guys really want fangirls on the blog? I'm kidding. XD**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'm updating two chapters today. Yeah. So, knock yourselves out. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**My Blog of Awesomeness**

**Riku**

K, Kairi was going to talk about this, but since her computer apparently hates her right now, I'll talk about yesterday. Right, yesterday, what a day that was. No, Selphie didn't mortally injure me. In fact, it was far from it. I took advice from a book that Kai gave me called _How to Get Rid of Your Number One Fangirl_. Cuz, sadly, that's what Selphie says she is to people. Including Wakka and Tidus. So, guess how many times I was teased a day about that? And I thought those guys making fun of my hair was bad. They keep telling me I'm a girl, that's why I mentioned it. Anyway, here's the lowdown: I was going to get paupau flavored ice cream, right? No worries, just me walking down the road, admiring the flora, the fauna, whatever.

Then, before I knew it, Selphie virtually comes out of NOWHERE, begging me for my number. I'm just glad she didn't go all Annie Wilkes on me and try to cripple me. So, then, I told her (following the book advice here) to call 867-5309. She ended up calling some numbering a magical place called New Jersey. Hm, and I thought that number wasn't supposed to exist any more. Oh well, worked for me. XD

**Comments:**

Jersey Shore _sux_.

Xaldin

_Um...OK, random._

Riku

_But, it does. MTV sux._

Xaldin

_Have to agree w/Creepy Facial Hair Dude on that one._

Roxas

_Hopefully, you get that Selphie chick off your back, man._

Sora

* * *

**AntiAnybody14: ***signs in* GOOOOD MORNING, VIETNAM! XD

**SitarHero9: ***signs in* The pop culture references just keep on coming, don't they? -_-

**AntiAnybody14: **U know they will, _mon ami_! XD 'Sides, without pop culture references, what would we have? We NEED something to occupy ourselves with until KH3.

**SitarHero9: **We won't be in KH3, remember?

**AntiAnybody14: **Aw, Dem-Dem, don't be a pessimist.

**WerewolfinLondon7: ***signs in* Death to teenagers...

**AntiAnybody14: **WTH do you want, Saix?

**WerewolfinLondon7: **The Superior sent me to monitor this webchat.

**SitarHero9: **For the love of classic rock (and rock in general), will you get off here? And what's with your webname? UR not even British!

**WerewolfinLondon7: **I'd like to say I'm part British...

**AnitAnybody14: **Yeah, and like you _partially _like The Clash, too. Hey, speaking of which, Demyx, have you ever heard of the song "Lost in the Supermarket"?

**SitarHero9: **No...must be a lesser known song by them. That sounds fun, tho.

**AntiAnybody14: **I know, rite? Just randomly spacing out by the dairy aisle...

**WerewolfinLondon7: **I am offended by that statement, since I happen to be lactose intolerant.

**AntiAnybody14: **That's OK, Saix, cuz you like the taste of human flesh much better!

**WerewolfinLondon7: **...I will ensure that you will have the most painful redeath...

**SitarHero9: **But, we can all just rebirth, right? Or, hey Saix, U'll come back as an actual werewolf.

**WerewolfinLondon7: **I hate you all. Good day. *signs off*

**AntiAnybody14: **He epicly fails at monitoring.

**SitarHero9: **Yep, sure does. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna update my blog. Tomorrow.

**AntiAnybody14: **K. Hey, how U doin' on _Green Day Rock Band_?

**SitarHero9: **91% expert on "Basket Case." FTW!

**AntiAnybody14: **Agreed. Later, Waterboy. *signs off*

* * *

**A/N: ****Yep, I made a _Misery _reference with the Annie Wilkes reference. XD Only Selphie is just being creepy, not scary. **

**Well, on to more updating from me. So, later.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Funny stuff happens to Saix in this one. Sorry that the Xaldin blog sucks. So, yeah...I'm not being that creative with A/Ns today.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, especially not songs.**

**EDIT 9/18/10: I changed Seifer's name to Rai, since it will make more sense that Rai write the next blog entry.**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Music is Life**

**Demyx**

So, like I said to Xion yesterday, I'm doing pretty well on _Green Day Rock Band_. Being an expert guitarist in my Somebody life must have helped. Though I notice everyone's getting rid of their _Rock Band _games. This makes me sad. Don't tell me everyone is going to get _Wii: Music _or something. I don't think that's what it's called, but Roxas told me it's stupid. That would explain his screaming the other day. Psst, don't tell anyone, but I think _Halo _is making him aggressive. And probably _WoW_, too. Lethal combination right there. That's like mixing baking powder with fire.

K, one of my lifelong dreams got accomplished today. I got to see Saix's head on fire. It was one of those days earlier, though, when everything was boring. All of us Org. members were chilling in the lounge, listening to our CDs. Axel had his CD player up too loud. He was screaming to "Master of Puppets", so he's all like, "Master, master!" every 30 seconds. I want to punch him in the head sometimes. So, anyway, Saix didn't like the Metallica music being so loud, and he told Axel to turn it down. Then, Axe snapped his fingers, and then Saix's head was burning. Blue-haired werewolf ran down the hall, screamed for the Superior in what I assume was a girly voice, and we all laughed. I'm glad Axe made our day. Maybe I should give Saix some cheese to make him feel better. :D

**Comments:**

_Hm, Number 7 puking his guts out as well? U have an idea there, friend._

Luxord

_Yes, it was enjoyable to see that bit of pyrotechnics earlier._

Zexion

_I am irritable. I smell like burnt firewood. And no, 9, cheese will not make me better!_

Saix

_Heh-heh-heh. XD_

Axel

* * *

**Days of One who Loathes Everyone**

**Saix**

Where to begin? After that unpleasant experience with Number 8's uncalled for pyrotechnics the other day, my once shining hair is a dull gray color. This is what I get for hating metal. I was listening to my soothing, calm classical music (as if I would obtain one of those trashy CDs 8 brought back with him), and soon, my hair was singed.

My life is very dissatisfying as of late.

**Comments:**

_I pity you, Saix._

Xemnas

_And I'm still laughing!_

Axel

* * *

**I'm More British Than U**

**Xaldin**

I refuse 2 use Spell-Chick. I know I'm mis-typing rite now, but I dont care. Let the grammar freeks cringe. No, I am no idiot. If U want 2 see idiotic, apparently Rai has a blog up now. I laughed. And so will U, I am posit. Hate typing. Fingers are cramping up already. Hm, I've been keeping track of Belle lately. She got married to the Beast. Life sux.

**Comments:**

_Well then, that'll teach you a lesson in stalking chicks now, won't it?_

Xigbar

_What? Rai's blog? I have to see this!_

Hayner

_UR blog sux, dude. For the sake of the blog (in general), stop typing. Ugh!_

Kairi

_Hm, wonder what Rai has 2 say._

Roxas

* * *

**A/N: ****I'll only say that Seifer's blog is similar to Crabbe and Goyle's blog off "The Hogwarts Blog." You have been warned for the next time I update.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: It's baaack. Sorry it took so long, guys. I've felt like I've sold my soul to school recently and not in a good way. Everyone I know is busy, I'm busy, it's too much! But, hey, at least the blog entry you've been waiting for is here. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Thug Lyfe**

**Rai**

Blogs, huh? This Sheeon chick new what she did, didint she, y'kno? I lyke beating up luusers. That's always fon. Hayner chalengeed me 2day to fite. I didint, cuz he's lame, y'kno? Cant fite his way outta a paper bag. Short, skeeny kid, Hay is. Ugh, riting sux. I'm so lazy. Syfer and Foo lyke hangin' w/me, I guess. BTW, I dropt outta da 8th graid. Did ya kno dat?

**Comments:**

_I can tell. XP_

Hayner

_Hayner, what U doin heer?_

Rai

_Laughing at your spelling, that's what._

Hayner

_You sure dropped out of the 8__th__ grade all right._

Xion

_Yeah, Xi, he probably didn't make it to 5__th__._

Riku

_Oh, LOL!_

Xion

_Can U 2 taik UR flirtin sum plaise else?_

Rai

_Stick to writing (I mean _riting_) UR blogs, man._

Axel

_Agreed. Their HI-LARRY-US! XD_

Roxas

_This is the best blog here. Ever._

Olette

* * *

**Tales of a Nobody Nothing**

**Roxas**

I'm crying, Rai's blog is so hilarious. I really think he spells it hilarryus. But, yeah, my IQ just went up. I mean, WOW, I don't even type that badly. Sure, I forget contractions sometimes, but that's about it. Actually, as cheesy as this sounds, Rai's blog today inspired me. What I thought I couldn't do before, I'm pretty sure I can do. I can go to Harvard. I can become an astronaut. I can weasel my way out of doing future KH games, since I'm sick of my voice actor who's also an ex-boy bander, now Justin Timberlake wannabe.

I can climb Mount Everest. And I WILL own my own chocolate factory one day!

**Comments:**

_Wow...UR blog entry was so touching. I was moved to tears. T_T_

Axel

_Really? XD_

Roxas

_No, not rlly! UR being too much of a sap over Rai's blog._

Axel

_Who doesn't want to marry Rai's blog, tho?_

Xion

_Yeah, it inspires me to be smarterer._

Riku

_Sarcasm, Riku?_

Xion

_It's what I do best. XD_

Riku

_Beware the flirting. Catch ya later, Rox._

Axel

* * *

**A/N: ****Aw, Rai's blog inspired Roxas! XD I seriously don't know where Roxas' rant came from, but I seriously think that if anyone saw a blog that poorly written, they would think they would be able to leap tall buildings or do impossible things like go to Harvard. Cuz you'd have to be a genius to get into that college. **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: The shortest blog ever is on here. And also I reference Pottery Barn for no apparent reason. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**Me**

**Fuu**

This blog. Wicked awesome. Rai is. Insanely hilarious. Can't talk. More than two words. Oops. Typed four at once. Crap, did it again. Seifer's blog. Will be up. Soon, I hope. Gotta go. Bye.

**Comments:**

_WTH was that? Not even a modern-day poet would have a poem that crappy._

Olette

_Not poet. Just succinct._

Fuu

_Oooh, big word for U, huh?_

Xigbar

_Ew, Xig, what you doin' on here, man?_

Axel

_Uh...U know...Hey, she's probably legal, right?_

Xigbar

_17. Get away. Dirty old man._

Fuu

_Pwned!_

Xion

_Hey, Foo. Niice blog, y'kno._

Rai

_Keep up the good work, Fuu. BTW, Rai wants 2 know what succinct means._

Seifer

_Dictionary. Isn't hard, Rai. Look it up._

Fuu

_Snap, snap. See how I'm sarcastically snapping. Awesome modern poetry. Not!_

Olette

* * *

**The One and Only Keyblade Master's Thoughts**

**Sora**

Apparently, Rai's blogs are the new big thing. They're #1 on the blogs list Xion puts up every week. She does all this math stuff and stats, I guess, to come up with it. Riku's at #5 now, since he doesn't have all those girls—I mean, fangirls. He didn't like having them around. Speaking of which, those aren't the only fangirls that were gotten rid of. We came up with the perfect distraction for Selphie. His name is Irvine. It was great! We found him hanging out at Pottery Barn, breaking stuff, before he got kicked out. He also got a lifetime ban from Pottery Barn. So he got our respect, too. He's a rebel.

And since chicks have a natural thing for bad boys, I told Riku that we ought to set them up. He said OK, just as long as New Jersey people weren't yelling at him for having her call their number. According to him, they threatened to do bad things to him. Like have him listen to the Jonas Brothers, who're from there, y'know. Ouch. I think the two of us are going to still listen to The Boss, thanks. So, we set them up, and they're CRAZY about each other. And they're stalking each other, too. Pretty weird to watch.

**Comments:**

_Stalkers in love. That's the biggest twist on that Police song ever._

Kairi

_Didn't UR contract say UR supposed to listen to pop?_

Sora

_Found a loophole. XD_

Kairi

_Before or after those annoying summer songs?_

Riku

_Waaay before. Gotta update my blog now, guys._

Kairi

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**A/N: ****OK, Fuu's blog was really short (and will probably not pop up again unless I got a weird idea) because of her lousy 2-4 word limit per sentence, I swear. XP The Boss is Bruce Springsteen, obviously, best musician to come out of NJ ever! Bon Jovi comes at a close second in my opinion. Oh, there might be some debating over that one. Um, and The Police song is "Every Breath You Take", that's what Kairi meant by that song having a twist.**

**Bye, y'all! Remember to review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello, guys, it's been a while AGAIN! Ugh, before I know it, it'll be Halloween. But, I love Halloween, so it's OK. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 13**

**Don't Wanna Be a Mary Sue Idiot**

**Kairi**

Yeah, I don't know why the contract said I should listen to pop. Square Enix is like the controlling father I never had. Or did I? Won't I remember in KH3? Maybe, if someone drops a ton of bricks on my head. Speaking of which, I want to do that to someone whose name begins with X and ends with S. Why? Well, he was the one who attempted to delete my account. That's why I had blog trouble last time. He said that since I wore the sluttiest clothes in KH2, I should be taken out of a "flirty" situation. Like there's anyone to flirt with here apart from Sora! I mean, every other guy is either not my type or too old and gross. With that said, I blocked Xigbar from my blog.

Current song in my head: "Lithium" by Nirvana.

**Comments:**

_Sweetness! Love that song to death._

Xion

_I know, rite? Can't believe SQ told me 2 listen 2 Britney Spears. XP_

Kairi

_The horror!_

Namine

_Good job, Kai. Tho I think we need Chris Hansen to stop Xig._

Sora

_Chris Hansen is so 2007._

Axel

_How'd I know someone would threaten Chris Hansen on me?_

Xigbar

_Perv alert, perv alert! I'll Internet pepper spray you. HI-YAAAAH!_

Xion

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**A Day in the Life**

**Xion**

I have started a new trend on this site, and it's called Internet pepper spray. I used it on Xig the other day when he randomly showed up on Kairi's blog. After she blocked him! How'd that happen? That's probably what all the online witnesses asked themselves. Well, here's my theory. I think that Xigbar happens to be a skilled hacker. I mean, he needs those skills in order to get on chicks' blogs. Scary thought. Hm...Axel needs to put up a literal firewall between this site and Xigbar's computer. Or something. That pirate perv needs to be stopped eventually.

K, I watched _The Hangover _for the fifth time earlier on TV. I'm still laughing. Not sure whether that's rad or just sad. Everyone's pretty much over that movie by now. But, I'm not. Can't get over crap like that, come on! Well, it's not crap, I just meant stuff. To be honest, guys, I'm surprised that Kairi has a good taste in music. I wouldn't have thunk it. I admit, though, it was her outfit in KH2. I admit it.

Oh, Lynyrd Skynyrd is coming on on iPod. OMG, IT'S "FREEBIRD"!

**Comments:**

"_FREEBIRD"!_

Demyx

_Oh, here we go..._

Sora

_What? Don't dis "Freebird", dude. U know U 3 it. XD_

Roxas

_It's not that. I just wish people would stop shouting the title of the friggin' song._

Sora

_U cannot break tradition, man. 'Sides, listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd anyway. They're awesome._

Riku

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**A/N: I won't lie, I love Lynyrd Skynyrd. It brings out my inner redneck. XD And Nirvana is one of my favorite bands of all time, hands down. I notice I put a lot of music in here, but I'm obsessed with music. I guess it makes sense why I put so many songs on the blog-well, referencing them anyway.**

**Next chapter's going to...eventful...**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: If the format still looks weird as it has been lately, it's because the site can be stupid in terms of it not arranging the words the way I want them to. Either that, or I'm a perfectionist. Hm, well this idea for this chapter...it's either going to be really stupid or really awesome. Depends on what you guys think.**

**Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is the property of Square Enix and does not belong to me.**

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Chapter 14

**Hell Hath Fury**

**Axel**

Oh God...Oh God, I think...this is definitely the worst discovery ever. Why do all the bad things happen to me, huh? Seriously, I think I'm going to be sick. Ugh, my stomach's churning, it's so bad. I'm scarred for life!

I. Saw. Yaoi.

Not just any yaoi either, because I know what it is and all. It's yaoi with US. Every single one of us KH men has been depicted as gay in some form or another. I'm in shock! Worse, I think I'm gonna hyperventilate. Yep, wouldn't you know it, I'm doing it right now. So, here's how it happened.

I was on some site (I'm not telling you what it is, though), and I accidentally ran into some fanfiction. It paired me up with everyone under the sun, I swear, ESPECIALLY Roxas. My BEST FRIEND! Yeesh! It's the damn hips, isn't it? Why couldn't SQ make me with squarer hips like most dudes have? I think my manhood just got threatened. You know what's even worse? This fanfic I accidentally discovered was what _they _call a lemon. Sourest fruit ever, even sourer meaning in fanfic.

I'm gonna die of embarrassment. Ugh...Stupid KH plot with its stupid undertones...

**Comments:**

_Yaoi? Hm, I don't know what it is. I think UR overreacting, Axe. UR probably lying just to scare us dudes._

Sora

_I agree._

Zexion

_I'm investigating this situation further._

Marluxia

_Guys, NO! You don't know what UR all doin'!_

Axel

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**Years of Flowers**

**Marluxia**

Oh, crap. I guess this wasn't some twisted prank that Axel devised. There truly is some yaoi on here. Yaoi is officially a curse word in the Organization. Spread the word. And I know these fanfics are just words, but they're so vivid that my mind nearly explodes from reading. Pfft, if I even did that! I skimmed, all right? Not reading—oh no, from what little I glimpsed, I will never look at one word from such a fanfiction ever again. _They_...Those evil, twisted people paired me up with Vexen. Vexen? I think not. Not someone who calls himself IceIceBaby. It is extremely nauseating to think of something so ludicrous.

How did this yaoi even get invented? Can I just be cliché and blame this all on Star Trek? They started everything for the nerds after all. Then again, yaoi is a Japanese word. Hm, I ponder what started all of this rubbish. Traumatization does not even begin to cover it. I feel ill, too. This incident has inspired me to begin a support group for us males of the Organization. Are we not victims? We should hold meetings, share our stories, and then try to stop this.

**Comments:**

_Support group for us STRAIGHT guys? Scuse me, that's the gayest thing ever._

Axel

_Yes, do we have tea and scones at these meetings? Or perhaps you give out your flowers as gifts?_

Zexion

_No, I mean for chauvinists._

Marluxia

_NO! I think it's a crappy idea. Don't you know our manhood is at stake?_

Axel

_It's Marluxia. He doesn't know what being a man is._

Xigbar

_Good point, Xig. Rambo viewing at the theater now!_

Xaldin

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**A/N: I actually got this idea from one particular author's note from a chapter in KH: The Short and Honest Version, in which our good friend NCHammer326 is trying to warn Sora of the dangers of yaoi. Personally, I have no problems with it. But, since I want all the guys in this blog story to be straight, well, this is why. They are so traumatized right now, it's hilarious. What do you all think? XD**

**Well, until next update...see ya.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hello, and welcome to another exciting installment of Xion's Blog. Hm, if school and my solitaire obsession didn't exist, I would have updated this a lot sooner. Sorry, guys. I love cards. XD Well, on the computer but still. And my birthday's today, so I decided to give you all a gift in two new chapters of this story again. XD So, here's chapter fifteen.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a dime of KH's massive fortune...or anything else.**

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**Chapter 15**

**Ramblings from a Sith Lord**

**Xemnas**

A crisis has been alerted to me from the other members of our Organization, mainly the men. The girls seem to be either unaware or apathetic to our horrific situation. Yaoi is apparently what frightens them. In fact, I saw them all packed in our movie theater, watching Rambo, specifically _First Blood_. Obviously, it was the first one, since the men were nostalgic. Also, this explains all the primal shouting I heard. Even Saix was nearly in his berserker mode, rooting for this Green Beret to kill cops. I just shook my head in disbelief. This yaoi apparently affects us all men to the point of desperation. We need to feel manly.

This is a very psychological find I have discovered, but I presume it truly makes sense. In fact, I saw Luxord throw out his Coldplay and Cure CDs this morning for no apparent reason. Then, Axel set them on fire while Luxord cursed at them. Now that's unreasonable. What has The Cure ever done to you, Ten? What next? This, obviously, is a very confusing time among us men. Personally, I'm unaffected. Miraculously. Or not.

**Comments:**

_Do you not realize, Superior, that THEY pair us two up, specifically?_

Saix

_I am asexual, Saix, "a" meaning without._

Xemnas

_So you're not into anyone?_

Demyx

_-_- Of course not, Nine. I hate you all equally._

Xemnas

_Yes, Nine, silence._

Saix

_U listened to Coldplay w/Luxord, Saix! ADMIT IT!_

Demyx

_...What's a Coldplay?_

Saix

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**WerewolfinLondon7:** *signs in* I fear Demyx is onto me.

**PatchydaRealPirate:** How so, dude?

**WerewolfinLondon7:** He almost found out I listen to Coldplay.

**PatchydaRealPirate:** Dude, we have a support group now! Throw that CD away!

**WerewolfinLondon7:** I cannot. "Speed of Sound" is such a good song...

**ReggaeBrit3:** It's elevator music! Listen to Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Ramones...

**WerewolfinLondon7:** Well, clearly, you listen to Bob Marley.

**PatchydaRealPirate:** Hey! Hey, no dissin' Bob Marley.

**ReggaeBrit3:** Sorry...I would never dis him. He lives on forever.

**Pyromania:** *signs in* Yes, Xaldin. He does. In your hair.

**WerewolfinLondon7:** I hate to say this, Eight...but good point.

**Pyromania:** We're all in this together. We're a club.

**Roses4Life:** *signs in* I thought all of U rejected my support group idea.

**PatchydaRealPirate:** We did. Clubs are more manly, idiot.

**Roses4Life:** Punish me, why don't you? Fools. *signs out*

* * *

**Days of One Who Loathes Everyone**

**Saix**

I do like Coldplay. And I refuse to sell myself out like Luxord did by burning my CDs. At least Coldplay isn't heavy. It calms me down. And yet...Perhaps Axel had a point in loving metal. The instrumentals, the singing whether it be high or low...I do get impressed.

I still like Coldplay, though.

**Comments:**

_Too bad, dude, UR missing out. Metal...Nothin' beats it._

Axel

_Yes, Saix, even I myself partake in Judas Priest music._

Xemnas

_Still liking Coldplay..._

Saix

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**A/N: I actually used to like Coldplay, but I simply got tired of them. It seriously was all a matter of I woke up one day and didn't like that band that much any more. I think I'll always be OK with "Yellow" and "Clocks", but that's about it. Besides, they were imitating the Beatles two years ago with those Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band outfits. Not cool.**

**Oh, but pretty much all other bands mentioned in this chapter I love, especially The Cure and Judas Priest. Quite an eclectic music taste I have. In fact, I got "Dynamite" stuck in my head by Taio Cruz. Blame my friend for getting me into that song. XD**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: You know, I still can't believe how many reviews this story has so far. I almost feel like I don't deserve them. XD Seriously, it's incredible how this blog story can get 70+ reviews. I'm shocked. I mean, only sixteen chapters, and I have that many. What the heck? XD Oh, this chapter, you guys get to find out who the culprit is behind the KH guys' discovery of yaoi. It shouldn't shock you who it is.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

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**Chapter 16**

**Malls=Forever**

**Selphie**

I gave Axel that address for that yaoi fanfiction website, you know, the URL. I bet I caused quite a stir in the Organization. XD I feel so evil, I love it! Well, you know, I only did that to them for some casual amusement, that's all. As sick as it sounds, it was my coping mechanism for getting over Riku. Besides, I love yaoi! It's so sexy and hot and adorable. Nothing excites me more. And if those guys don't like it, I guess it's fine.

Honestly, though, psst, I thought Axel was gay.

**Comments:**

_Um, hell no! And you should have told me what yaoi is, so I could have avoided being creeped out to death._

Axel

_Same goes for me too, Selph. Not cool._

Roxas

_Oh well, U know, coping mechanism..._

Selphie

_That? U might as well have set cats on fire._

Axel

_NOOOO, KITTIES!_

Selphie

_Gets them every time, my friend._

Axel

_PETA better not read UR comment._

Roxas

_Hmph, regular ole wet blanket._

Axel

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**My Blog of Awesomeness**

**Riku**

Oh God...I mean, wow, I'm glad Sora warned me about this, but at the same time I'm mad that he had had to show me. Then again, he didn't know what _it _was either. I just wish he would have gotten on a fanfic site...and not Google Image it. Those Google images...The horror! Whoever did this to the Organization XIII and us is seriously going to pay. Not cool. It's bad enough that I have fangirls for just straight me, but when they think I'm gay—oh, that's bad. K, I'll get to the point of this before I throw up.

So, Sora came up to me earlier and was like, "Hey, Riku, Axel was talking about yaoi on his blog earlier. Is he making it up, d'ya think?"

And I was like, "I dunno."

Then Sora makes me Google frickin _Image _yaoi (well, KH yaoi) on _my _computer, and I see pics of us. Can't two dudes have a platonic friendship and not have it be mistaken for a gay romance? Now everyone's going to think I find girls unattractive!

Hm, though with those fangirls, maybe that's not so bad after all.

**Comments:**

_Um, I'd hate to rain on your parade, but the fangirls will be there, whether UR gay or straight. If anything, they'll think UR even sexier now._

Xion

_What about you?_

Riku

_Me? I'm indifferent...Uh, but you sure UR not gay?_

Xion

_I can't even name a single Madonna song. XD Not to stereotype or anything._

Riku

_...Thank God..._

Xion

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**A/N:  Oh, I think Xion might or might not have a crush on someone. XD Seriously, though, I don't know where the yaoi arc for this story came from. Well, maybe I do. See, any more, it's like you associate KH fanfic with yaoi that disturbs some people and makes others go insane with giddiness. I'm neutral, personally. Like, I usually read het fics, but OCCASIONALLY, I'll read a yaoi. 'Cause some of them like Come Home and How I Paid for College are actually pretty interesting. HIPFC especially is hilarious. Love the summary to it, too. "Illegal is faster", ha!**

**Right, so I guess I won't ask for reviews, since I have this feeling I'll probably get a ton again. But, I really appreciate it, you guys. XD**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I have got to stop messing with the sound recorder on my computer, seriously! I just still can't believe my voice can sound like that. Long story, hope y'all like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 17**

**Music is Life**

**Demyx**

Gaaaah! Why'd I have to have effeminized looks? Whyyy? They think I'm Zexion's lover or something and that I jam my tongue down his throat. And that's the most PG thing they think I do with him. The rest is so R, I can't type any of it on here unless I want to scare Roxas or Namine or any of my young, fragile-eared friends. Or fragile-eyed, whatever. It's the musician thing, isn't it? They think I'm more singer-songwriter and nothing close to metal at all. And I can name one metal song—out of a gazillion, and still, I know quite a few. "Number of the Beast" by Iron Maiden, most epic song ever.

Oh and...I don't listen to that much metal. Am I still straight? The fangirls' yaoi is making me feel insecure. I've thrown out my copies of the _Twilight _books. That should help me, right? I watched a _Jackass _marathon on TV, and I'll be off watching _Jackass 3-D _pretty soon. Yeah, I'm all good. Yeah. Zexion, if you're reading this, tell everyone this yaoi thing we supposedly have is all a bunch of crap. Hahaha! Just saw someone on Youtube get hit in the groin.

**Comments:**

_You're sure trying to promote your heterosexuality, aren't you? But, yes, this yaoi is quite false. I myself am watching Transformers 2 for the fifth time._

Zexion

_What is it with you dudes and that movie?_

Kairi

_Explosions. Robots. Attractive women. More explosions._

Zexion

_We get it. UR straight. We're all straight. Now can we just gang up on Selphie now? She caused all this._

Axel

_What? She did? Did you read that, dudes?_

Demyx

_To the Machomobile!_

Xigbar

_Uh...no._

Roxas

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**GurlyGurlGurl:** AHHHHHH! KAAAIIIIRRIIII, HEEEELP!

**GingerWimp:** What's up, Selphie? Bieber fans trying to kill you again?

**GurlyGurlGurl:** No, this is way worse! These weird guys—I mean, I see Axel and Roxas, too—they're all outside my house. And this one blue-haired guy has a really pointy thing!

**Crayola=Love15:** *signs in* What did you do this time, Selphie?

**GurlyGurlGurl:** Naaamiii, I don't know! Wait...I think...Oh, well, maybe it had something to do with me telling Axel about this yaoi fanfiction site.

**Crayola=Love15:** That would do it. You have no idea how crazy the guys went once they discovered that. Like yesterday, Demyx started bawling when he found out he was being paired up with Xigbar, too. I had to make brownies for the poor guy.

**GurlyGurlGurl:** But...But yaoi is the ultimate sexinessss!

**GingerWimp:** Not if it gets you victimized by the guys themselves.

**GurlyGurlGurl:** But...but...WAAAAH!

**Crayola=Love15:** Crap, she's crying. Gotta go, Kai. *signs out*

**GingerWimp:** Hm, anyway, Selph, you shouldn't have done that. Guys aren't exactly going to be turned on by yaoi like you do. Oh, and the blue-haired guy is Saix. He kidnapped me once, which isn't saying much. I got kidnapped by everybody and their mother pretty much.

**GurlyGurlGurl:** Great, I'm gonna get kidnapped?

**GingerWimp:** Oooh, I shouldn't have said that.

**GurlyGurlGurl:** Like heck you shouldn't have! What should I do?

**GingerWimp:** Well, hm, first you should get on your knees. Then...You pray like your frickin life depends on it. Do that for five minutes.

**GurlyGurlGurl:** How's that gonna help?

**GingerWimp:** Uh...Good way to get to your happy place?

**GurlyGurlGurl:** Nuh-uh! That's a load of crap, Kai. I'm hiding here for the rest of the day! *signs out*

**GingerWimp:** Yeesh, you're welcome, Selphie. I'm the best friend you've ever had. XP


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

**I'm Crazy Evil**

**Larxene**

So, the guys in our fine Organization are currently on the Destiny Islands to apparently stop this psycho bitch who's _apparently _been writing yaoi fics about them. Hm, I think that part of it was a rumor, though. Still, even though I myself am whack, I know what being crazy is like. And I'm guessing this chick is as crazy as all heck, even more than me. I believe that's possible, barely, but yeah. She introduced Axel to the stuff, and the rest is testosterone protection history. Now, I'm hearing loud explosions from action movies in the theater. Not to mention I think Xigbar and Xaldin have taken to not bathing. Gross. Ugh, the black-haired shrimp and the blonde shrimp are actually agreeing with me for once. This is getting crazy.

So, maybe those guys can settle this BS once and for all, so that everyone can just go back to normal. If Demyx does one more Braveheart impression, I will seriously lose _all _of my marbles and not the half I usually lose. I'm frickin' serious. This has escalated into something ridiculous. Marluxia, sweetie, I know you're straight. Stop trying so hard to prove those skeptic idiots wrong. I'm going out with you for a reason. I love you.

But, if you try to start brawls ONE MORE TIME, I SWEAR YOU WILL PAY!

**Comments:**

_Yes, Larx, baby, I understand._

Marluxia

_Shrimp? SHRIMP? This shrimp can kick your ass!_

Xion

_I'd like to see you try. XP_

Larxene

_By heck, I will._

Xion

_Marl, UR such a pushover._

Axel

_DON'T CALL MY B/F A PUSHOVER!_

Larxene

_I'm not swaying my opinion._

Axel

_Wait, aren't U all supposed to B getting revenge on Selph right now?_

Xion

_Oh yeah...Later._

Axel

**Thug Lyfe**

**Rai**

Dood, that Selfee chick must B sum bad noos. The org. guys must B preetie pizzed off right now. Dis yay-oh-ee sounds bad. Not to menshon icky. Doods wit doods...I don get it. Do chicks theenk dat dat's hot or sumthin? Hope Im not in iny yay-oh-ee. Dat wood freek me out. Sifer mite B in sum. If its wit Hay, heel B pizzed. I woodnt blayme him. Hay got stoopid hare. N stoopid clothes. If they paired up, I B sick. If Im paired up wit inybody, _I _B sick, y'no?

**Comments:**

_Pizzed? Yeah, I'm so _pizzed, _I'm hungry. Are you pizzed off with pepperoni or mushrooms?_

Roxas

_I hait shrooms._

Rai

_That don't sound right, Rai. And what the hell is yaoi?_

Seifer

_Looong story, man._

Hayner

_Dude, I'm offended. There's no _yay _in yaoi_. _Two letters from yaoi are in pain. Did you know that? Huh? Huh?_

Riku

_Yeah, our manhood is at stake. Stop making light of it!_

Sora

_Soree...Not! Ha! Hahahaha!_

Rai

_I'm still amused by this. Shrooms? Aren't those illegal? XP_

Olette


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: You guys are in for a treat today. The Organization epicly goes into battle...sort of. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 19**

**You Better Respect My Blog**

**Seifer**

I'm serious. If you respect my blog, you don't get it handed to you by me. Say my blog title is uncreative? Too bad! You better respect _it_! Ah, well, what the heck do I type on here? I know. I'll tell y'all how many worthless brats I beat up today. I beat up this eight-year-old kid and stole his ice cream money. Ha, obviously, the fat doofus had a lot of cash, cuz me, Fuu, and Rai got plenty of ice cream. Enough to last us the whole day. Then, I beat up a moron who made fun of my beanie. RESPECT THE BEANIE, DAMMIT!

K, I'm done. Hm, well...

Psst, don't tell anyone (or I'll thrash you for it), but I looked up this yaoi crap Rai was talking about. Stupid chicks paired me up with that Hayner wuss. Ugh! And I thought I was a hit with the ladies. I mean, I'm handsome, strong, smart—who wouldn't love me? But, no, apparently, they think I'm gay. There's this war with this Organization now and some empty-headed, idiotic chick named Selphie. The Org. brought machine guns, too. That's what Rai told me. And they're holding Selphie hostage in her house. I wonder who'll win.

**Comments:**

_Org. doesn't have. Machine guns. Rai is. Total idiot._

Fuu

_Thank U, Fuu, and UR fragmented sentences. No wonder I own U guys._

Seifer

_Owning? Ugh! Typical._

Fuu

_I hate your beanie. L8er, hahahaha!_

Hayner

_And I hate UR coat._

Pence

_Don't dis the coat!_

Seifer

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**Tales of a Nobody Nothing**

**Roxas**

It was epic. We came, we saw, we conquered. We pwned. Whatever you want to call it, we claimed victory over yaoi fangirls. Or at least one fangirl. Marluxia and Saix volunteered to dispatch themselves to other worlds to find other fangirls. I'm not sure what they're gonna do, but hey, whatever helps our noble cause. Anyway, we broke into Selphie's house to bombard her fridge at first (Zexion—friggin' nerd—had the munchies) before we focused on our main objective. It was to scare the bejeezus out of that insane woman. So, we broke down the locked door to her room, and she started screaming bloody murder.

Cue in the ear plugs. We came prepared, because we treated this as though it was a military op. Then, Axel took out a baseball bat, and we all took turns swinging at her computer. It was like a piñata, only we got chips and a broken screen instead of candy. That sucked. At least that _evil _computer got finally busted to smithereens. And while Selphie was bawling her eyes out (luckily, we still had the earplugs in), Saix knocked her unconscious using his claymore. He was going to perform a sacrifice to the moon, but we all stopped him. Now he's apparently taken his rage out on other yaoi fangirls. Fine with us.

**Comments:**

_Aw, I wish I could have come!_

Xion

_This was a battle for male heterosexuality, Xi. _Male.

Demyx

_Yeah, so how come _we _weren't notified?_

Sora

_You island kids are basically a bunch of hippies. Too non-violent._

Xigbar

_I'll show YOU violence...:D_

Riku

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**A/N: One of my reviewers suggested that I kill Selphie off. Unfortunately, I had already written this out, so I was unable to do that. But, however, I thought she received a just punishment in getting her computer destroyed. Don't you think? XD**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**Malls=Forever**

**Selphie**

I—I can't believe it. They busted my $1,200 computer! And I got grounded because of it. WAAAAAH! Like, those friggin' maniacs came in with their machine guns and shot up my room. My pink teddy now has bullet holes through its tummy. Then, they beat me up until I was unconscious, and I can barely remember what happened. Did they even have machine guns? I don't know, guys, I don't know. I'm—I'm...I'M GOING TO THE MALL, WAAAAH!

**Comments:**

_What is with us bringing machine guns? We did no such thing._

Luxord

_No, but that's what Xaldin who told Rai who told Seifer said._

Demyx

_Why in Kingdom Hearts would Xaldin contact Rai?_

Vexen

_Probably to make us look tougher and threatening. A lot of good that did. Now we have adolescent girls terrified of us._

Zexion

_..._

Lexaeus

_Don't you ever talk, dude? We claimed victory over yaoi! Aren't you excited?_

Axel

_Too excited beyond words. Maybe the fics about me loving Zexion will stop._

Lexaeus

_That's true, Lexaeus. I despised being paired up with the vast majority of you anyway. I'm about as asexual as Xemnas...though that Kairi..._

Zexion

_What about me? Eh...I don't think I wanna know. And Selph, please don't use my computer to bawl, OK?_

Kairi

**WerewolfinLondon7:** I would very much like to announce that Operation: St. Valentine's Day Yaoi Fangirl Massacre was a glorious success.

**Roses4Life:** It wasn't V-Day yet, tho.

**WerewolfinLondon7:** What?

**Roses4Life:** U know what I just said. When you impaled them with your claymore and I hacked off their heads with my scythe, it wasn't anywhere close to Feb. 14th.

**WerewolfinLondon7:** True, but it was a code name. Besides, most yaoi fangirls will profess to being hopeless romantics...And thus, why we had to kill them.

**PatchydaRealPirate:** Aw, you guys went on a homicidal rampage without me? And Xaldin would have loved to have been in on it, too.

**ReggaeBrit3:** Yes. I am most angered by finding this out. I'M THE CRAZIEST MON IN THIS ORG., AND EVERYBODY KNOWS IT! XALDIN ANGRRRYYYY! K, I'm done.

**Roses4Life:** -_- U have no right to say "mon" unless UR Jamaican.

**WerewolfinLondon7:** And technically I am the craziest man. Have you not seen me under the full moon? Besides, Marluxia and I were the ones who felt the most wronged by those putrid fanfics. Marluxia was mistaken to be a transvestite, and I was paired up with our asexual leader. This was righteous fury we felt. Well, not felt, but you get the idea.

**PatchydaRealPirate:** Hm, yeah, I guess I can see UR point, dudes. Sounded like a gore fest, tho. Would have loved to have taken part.

**ReggaeBrit3:** XALDIN SMASH!

**Roses4Life:** 0_0...Time for me to go, I believe. *signs out*

**WerewolfinLondon7:** Hmph, coward. Any idiot could have caused a bloodbath for something like this. Hard to believe Marluxia had it in him. Good afternoon. *signs out*

**PatchydaRealPirate:** ...Xal, dude, take UR anger and smashing elsewhere, K? I gotta hack into that fanfic site to put a virus in. L8er. *signs out*


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: WOOT, I'M BACK! XD And since X-mas break is really, really soon for me, I can update more. And you guys won't think I'm dead. Yay! Anyway, here's a girl's take on the yaoi madness that's been going on. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

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**Chapter 21**

**Subject: Yaoi Madness**

Well, guys, I'm glad to see that some normalcy has been restored to the site after certain yaoi fanfic-related issues. Despite the fact that Selphie no longer has a computer and that millions of yaoi fangirl lives have been lost (that went a little far, Marl and Saix), the madness is for the most part over. And as a girl, I say THANK GOD! You dudes were getting too defensive over your manhood, it was ridiculous. I mean, it was Rambo Wednesdays and Transformer Thursdays over at that theater. You have no idea how much torture that put us chicks through. I actually had to get my hair done just to get out of the castle. Yeah, my short hair!

Not to mention CD burnings? Come on! I can't believe you guys roasted marshmallows over that and sang "Highway to Hell." OK, if that's your weird idea of male bonding. And that's not to mention the burping contests, farting contests, chili-eating contests, spitting contests, ice bomb contests (Vex, WTF?), girls' phone numbers contest, and skateboarding contest in which half of you dumbasses couldn't even last five seconds on those boards.

YOU GUYS WERE PATHETIC!

But, hey, at least UR all normal again. ^_^

**Posted by: Xion**

**Comments:**

_I'm not even going to dignify that with a real response._

Zexion

_Me neither._

Demyx

_I so pwned at that skateboarding contest, and U know it, Xi!_

Roxas

_Traitor! T_T Kidding._

Axel

_I'm glad I wasn't at that castle that week._

Riku

_Yeah, sounded insane._

Sora

* * *

**A Day in the Life**

**Xion**

I really was getting tired of the yaoi banning madness. Well, it wasn't banning, that's the thing. It was the dudes afraid of actually being gay. They're probably not (though I wonder about a couple of the guys), but I don't know. If Saix and Marluxia have to kill random chicks in order to get their point across, I see no point in trying to stop yaoi. Not that I'm into it...It's just why bother? There're probably a few thousand girls dutifully updating their yaoi fanfics as I type. Just, guys, it's no big deal. It's not like we chicks in this castle ever doubted your straightness. Get it through your heads.

Unless you want to confess something. XD

**Comments:**

_I'm good._

Roxas

_Me too._

Axel

_Never said you guys were gay!_

Xion

_What are you implying then?_

Roxas

_Nothing._

Xion

_Forget it, all of you. What's done is done. Marluxia and Saix are officially wanted serial killers, and there's nothing we can do about it. Now who wants to play _Halo?

Demyx

_MEEEEEEE!_

Axel

_Honestly, Axe, have you no shame?_

Xion

* * *

**A/N: So, that part of the fic is over. On to the next chapter!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: In which Axel gets devilish.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 22**

**Hell Hath Fury**

**Axel**

I haven't updated this baby in a while, so I might as well get going on it. Man, just finished up playing eight hours straight of _Halo _with Demyx. I kicked some ass. But, hm, the chicks are still holding a grudge against us guys for protesting yaoi. I got a plan to get back at them, though, to make a little bit of a prank war. I'll probably have to recruit Rox to help me with this, since I might not be able to do this on my own. Wait, forget it, he would definitely disagree, especially since he's crushing on Olette. I would tell you, the dudes, about this, but I think I'll just keep it a secret.

Psst, it'll be like dropping a bomb. XP

**Comments:**

_Does this have anything to do with Larxene trying to flush your head down the toilet yesterday?_

Xion

_It may or may not. XP_

Axel

_What R U hiding, Axel? UR making us suspicious._

Namine

_Chillax, ladies, I didn't say anything. I probably won't go through with it._

Axel

_*sniff, sniff* Good. Just don't wreck my new computer!_

Selphie

_She's shrill._

Demyx

_True dat._

Kairi

* * *

**I'm Crazy Evil**

**Larxene**

AAAAAHHHHHHH! What. The. Hell? It's like I got stabbed by someone with extremely hot knives. I'm violently shocked and aggressively disturbed. God, this is awful. Whoever has done this to me SHALL PAY WITH HIS LIFE! I know it's a "he", because no chick would have been this lame brained to do this.

Somebody sent me yuri pictures. Yes, apparently, there is KH lesbian crap, too! No one is safe. I wouldn't put it past these crazy teen writers to subject the unisex Nobodies to this kind of torture. And apparently, I'm not the only chick who's gotten these. Ugh, and mine have me and Namine. Gross!

**Comments:**

_Those pics will seriously give me nightmares _for weeks.

Namine

_Hm...Grrr...Axel really was up to something. I will seriously kill him. I DON'T SWING THAT WAY!_

Xion

_Calm down, Xi. Look at it this way. There's a lot less yuri than there is yaoi. The guy just feels insecure about the yaoi issue still. He's jealous._

Kairi

_K, Kai, I see UR point. I hope UR right._

Xion

_U mean we won't fight back? DX_

Larxene

_Nope. Axel's going to have to be driven mad by his own anticipation._

Namine

_Sucker!_

Olette

_Eh...! These pics are in my inbox. NOOOZ!_

Selphie

* * *

**A/N: And that's the end of the same-sex pairings panic arc for sure. XD By unisex Nobodies, I meant those silver things off KH2. You really can't tell if they're male or female. XD Besides, the reason why the yuri part of this was so short is that there really isn't that much of it on here, cuz there aren't that many dudes on this site. But, anyway, that madness is over. And a new one will begin, hahaha... XD**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hey, guys, some sad news. I'm afraid I'll be wrapping up this blog story soon. Blame it on my school and too much homework. But, anyway, hopefully, you'll enjoy the last...I'm guessing five or so chapters of this. Have kind of lost count since...well, busy-ness.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 23**

**Subject: My CDs**

If Radiant Garden wasn't still so much into the Dark Ages, I would have gotten an iPod by now. But, no thanks to the obsolete computers that are about the size of wide-screen TVs and have no Internet whatsoever, iTunes isn't even possible. I need those CDs back...and I will probably end up fighting to the death for them. Seriously. I have gone into music withdrawal. No Van Halen, no Slipknot, no Led Zeppelin...If I don't listen to "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd soon...

If my suspicions are correct (and they are 100% of the time), one of the Organization members took them. That's it. Org. XIII, I'm a-comin'.

**Posted by: Leon**

**Comments:**

_Oh sh...Nikes!_

Axel

_Now you've done it, dumbass. See here, honesty _is _the best policy._

Roxas

_Shut up, man, you listened to that AC/DC CD on repeat for two hours!_

Axel

_And you've listened to all 84 CDs at least twice._

Roxas

_The man has good taste in music. He's even got the Blues Brothers soundtrack. The frickin' Blues Brothers!_

Axel

_If you die, I ain't going to your funeral!_

Roxas

_Fine by me!_

Axel

_A lovers' quarrel, gentlemen?_

Saix

_GAAH! Accused yaoi—it burns!_

Roxas

* * *

**My Blog of Awesomeness**

**Riku**

Well, this one goes out to Xion today. No, I didn't upload myself singing that very recent "Just the Way You Are" song. You kidding? I suck at singing, but the fangirls seem to think differently. I don't care about them, though. But, um, Xion, hey, you want to meet me at that one island...with the tree bench...tomorrow night maybe? I would have done an e-chat, but that function is down. Probably because Xaldin got mad enough to hack that part, I'm assuming?

Anyway, tomorrow night at 8 is a good time, right?

**Comments:**

_SOMEONE'S GONNA GET ASKED OUT!_

Selphie

_STFU, Selph, jeez...-_-_

Xion

_Why U trippin'?_

Selphie

_UR obsessed w/Riku. Or were...Well, enough to get all crazy._

Xion

_Wha? I'm stalking Irvy now, and he's stalking me._

Selphie

_TMI. Anyway, Riku, 8's a great time._

Xion

_Really? I mean, I figured. XD_

Riku

_Aw, our Xi is growing up!_

Axel

_And then, she's going to be going to college and get married and have kids (sobs). Jk._

Roxas

* * *

**A/N: References...Hm, well, for some reason, I've really been into this Bruno Mars' guy's stuff. Cuz at least he can sing, unlike most other pop artists these days who need freaking machines! But, I think that song I referenced is especially sweet. And try saying AC/DC CD 10 times fast. I mean, it's pretty funny looking in typing, isn't it? XD**

**Well, I'm on to uploading the next chapter.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Yay, another Rai blog! And other stuff, including someone hacking the blog yet again. Yeesh, when will that ever quit? XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

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**Chapter 24**

**Thug Lyfe**

**Rai**

Yo, bois, gurls, heers whats goin on! Axle invetid yoori. It is good stuf. Hellz ya. Yoori is wai betta than yayohee. Its all gurls doin' stuf. U no wat I is talkin bout. Uh-huh. Syfer tinks yoori is cool 2. he luks da gurls all dai lon. Fuu hayt yoori tho. She callt it gros. Don no wy. It sexi, veri munch. I want e-chat, butt Xaldy uglie man putt vyrus in. Ashol. Yoori maik me hapy, tho. Watev. Not da saim.

**Comments:**

_Wow, UR stoopid (purposely spelled it that way), because not only do U mess up UR blogs but U like yuri. I'm sick._

Olette

_Come on, Lette. I'm sure Kairi or Namine or Xion will make it ALL better!_

Seifer

_SOB!_

Olette

_Meh, com on, Let. Syfer is messin wit U._

Rai

_Yeah, well, why do I feel like punching him? I'm hanging out w/ROXAS to make me feel better. XD_

Olette

_Fail, Seifer. Fail_

Fuu

_What? I was only hitting on her!_

Seifer

_Ew. Well, if you lose the beanie, you could have a shot. Yeah right!_

Hayner

_True dat. No hitting on my girl, K, Seifer? That's a threat._

Roxas

**Ramblings from a Sith Lord**

**Xemnas**

Xaldin has officially lost his mind. First, Leon sent me a horrendously cruel e-mail saying that he would skin us alive. Then, Xaldin, angry that he has been blocked by all of us (including myself) from our blogs, put a virus in our e-chat function. We do not need any more disruptions. I have tried to enforce the rules more, but it is too late. I blame it on this rock 'n roll that is corrupting everything. Xaldin, calm down. If you calm down, we will unblock you, and you can make that virus vanish. Better yet, you can drop a hundred feet off the Empire State Building. Or something to that effect. Just take down the virus.

**Comments:**

_NEVER, MWAHAHAHAHA!_

Xaldin

_Come on, Xal. As an experienced hacker, I say enough is enough. It was funny at first, I admit, but it gets old. 'Sides, people will like U even less._

Xigbar

_NO, AND I WILL USE CAPS LOCK UNTIL YOU UNBLOCK ME!_

Xaldin

_...Fine, I unblocked you. Keep in mind, though, the alternative was the scythe._

Marluxia

_I unblocked you as well._

Saix

_Me too...sadly._

Luxord

_OK, fine. I am better now. The virus shall be removed, gentlemen._

Xaldin

_Yeah, and U can put it up UR butt!_

Axel

* * *

**A/N: Marluxia being a bad-ass there yet again. Poor Xaldin (or...maybe not poor...), everybody hates him. That's because I don't care much for him out of all the Org. people. I also don't like Vexen that much either. But, that's just me.**

**See you next month (at this rate)!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: You're all treated to a weekend update AND three blogs today. Aren't I awesome? XD Meh, just kidding. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

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**Chapter 25**

**A Day in the Life**

**Xion**

I got asked out! I got asked out! SQUEEE! It took a while for him to get around to it, though. So, I showed up on the island, and we pretty much flirted like we had on the blog (yes, Xem, I think it was flirting) for a while. We played by the ocean, and it was so great with it being the two of us. Then, he got all shy. So, I was like, "Hey, Riku, what's going on?"

And he held me in his arms all of a sudden, saying, "You know, Xi, I've felt something for you for a while now. You think you can really, really like me?"

Then, I said I already did like him, and he kissed me! It was so beautiful, and the sun set in time for that to happen. WOOT, I like him!

**Comments:**

_Hey, all the power to you for getting asked out, Xion. Good luck w/Riku. Cuz if he hurts you, I'm beatin' his ass!_

Axel

_Uh...now I know who I have to deal with here..._

Riku

_Axe, stop it. There's no need to be protective. Our Xion can look out for herself._

Roxas

_I'm happy for both you and Riku, Xi! You'll get along great, I'm sure._

Kairi

_Thanx. XD_

Xion

_Now that I have Irvy, I'm not gonna try anything w/U 2._

Selphie

_Double thanx. XDDD_

Xion

_Congrats, U 2. Best of luck!_

Sora

_No flirting online? Heck, do it all the time. U have the right._

Namine

_Still. No flirting. Online. Understood?_

Xemnas

_No!_

Xion

* * *

**Pi**

**Zexion**

Yes, implying the mathematical symbol of the same name. It should get me noticed. Besides, I sense (or...well, smell) Leon's smell getting closer, so who knows how long this blog will last? Probably infinite, as is pi. I am not much of a skilled blogger, so the number of these will be limited. Perhaps this is the only one. I merely comment on others' more intriguing entries. From what I understand, Riku and Xion are a couple. So be it, though the young lady is a Nobody like the rest of us. If it lasts, it lasts. Good for them. It is midnight. I fall asleep...

**Comments:**

_UR making me fall asleep, man!_

Demyx

_Zzzz..._

Axel

* * *

**Blinded me with Science**

**Vexen**

If Leon annihilates the Org. XIII (though his eye seems to be fixed particularly on Axel for some strange reason) because of our CDs, then I say let him get on with it! It is a petty thing to kill people over but never mind. I will type this last entry now. I will not care if I get commented because I ask what is the point? Signing off.

**Comments:**

_No comments_

(3 hours later)

_Dang it, people, I'm old! Have you no sympathy for the elderly? I hope Leon shoots/stabs you all to death with his Gunblade! Ungrateful, horrible...!_

Vexen

* * *

**A/N: Haha, Vexen, unloved as usual! XDD Aside from that, all I have to mention is the reason why Zexion's blog was the way it was. Considering he does talk in monotone throughout the entire PS2 CoM game, I decided to make his blog really, really boring. It just made sense to me.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Well, not much to say here. Actually, yeah, maybe. I'm getting pretty close to the end, guys. It ended too soon, I know. DX But, I've been so busy with schoolwork, and I'm afraid next week's going to be my busiest yet. So, I'm gearing up for the end here.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

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**Chapter 26**

**Tales of a Nobody Nothing**

**Roxas**

I hate to say this, but Leon came, saw, and conquered. He conquered epicly. He pretty much broke into Axel's room and roughed him up quite a bit. Sure, Axel used his fire, but I'm telling ya, those girly hips of his kept holding him back. If he stopped concentrating on being the pretty boy, he could train to become a cage fighter like he always wanted. At least Namine's fixing him up, and they're talking like they could be together. So at least everyone else will be like, "At least he's straight." Oh yeah, Leon...not to mention he got all his CDs back. Every single dang one. No more AC/DC. But, I did get an iPod, so take that, dude! Music for $1.99...That ain't so bad. Not bad at all.

**Comments:**

_Rox, man, I felt violated! And I ain't giving up the cage fighting dream, K? I am going to fight in the octagon._

Axel

_As soon as you recover from your broken legs, concussion, black eyes, sprained ankle, thrown-out back, and broken thumb, you _might _be able to. But, I don't recommend it._

Namine

_Yes, nurse. ;D_

Axel

_Uh, wow. That concussion must still be really bad...0/0_

Namine

_Just get new hips, buddy. I don't want Namine getting competition, if you 2 are gonna get together._

Roxas

_No way, Rox. But, man, why didn't Leon break those? He broke everything else!_

Axel

* * *

**SitarHero9:** The end is near. Aww, I'm gonna miss this blog!

**AntiAnybody14:** What? Dem, that's a rumor. It's just everybody has lives. We have lives. U know, we don't work on blogs all the time.

**GingerWimp:** And we're thinking we should hang out more offline.

**AllThatandaRingofKeys:** Yeah, Kai, I agree. 'Sides, we can't communicate thru the blogs all the time. It'll be bad on our relationship.

**SitarHero9:** Well...that makes me feel better.

**AntiAnybody14:** Cuz we're best friends! (singing)

**Exorcised16:** We're buddies!

**AllThatandaRingofKeys:** Special buddies!

**Pyromania:** Is that a _Rob and Big _reference?

**Exorcised16:** Hellz yeah! One of the...I'd say 3 good shows that MTV ever had.

**Pyromania:** Ah, that's what I thought. Old-school...ish. Did U see the 1 w/the Mini Horse?

**Crayola=Love15:** Yes! Watched it like a 1,000 times! XD

**AntiAnybody14:** I wanna own a Mini Horse!

**GingerWimp: **Me too! XDD

**UWILLH8MYCAPS: **Roxas here...Wow. This has been UR conversation? In that case...Did you see the one with the turtle racing?

**Pyromania: **U know it, buddy!

**SitarHero9: **So, I guess the blog will take a break?

**Crayola=Love15: **Guess so. But, we'll always have each other.

**GingerWimp: **Like one episode of _Friends _that'll never end.

**AllThatandaRingofKeys: **With hanging out and laughing and...uh...

**Exorcised16: **...Love...Heterosexual love for me anyway. XD

**AntiAnybody14: **Yeah...Now let's watch _The Dark Knight _again.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, good idea, Xi. And I just saw that movie on a cable network last week, and that movie is cool. Aka one of the best movies of all time. I was so pissed off a couple years ago when I found out frickin' New Moon made more than The Dark Knight did on opening night. Come on, you know you love that movie! XD As for the Rob and Big reference, it's just a show I enjoy, even as it plays in reruns.**

**Like I said, the end is approaching. I'm gonna be so sad when this ends.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: HELLOOOO, EVERYBODY! XD I'm alive! I only had site errors to contend with, that's why this has taken so long. I've tried to incorporate requests into these last chapters of Xion's Blog. Yes, sadly, this story is coming to an end. And no, this is not an April Fool's Day joke. This is for serious.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH or things referenced.**

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**Chapter 27**

**Years of Flowers**

**Marluxia**

Damn it all! I have, up until five minutes ago, been killing the evil yaoi fangirls on my covert operation. No one knew about it, absolutely _no one_. My defense is that yaoi must be stopped. The less insane girls there are in this world the better. Apparently, Xemnas did not agree with me. Somehow, he was on to me...I should have known by the way he stared at me with X-ray eyes. He seriously must have them, that's what it feels like. The bastard cornered me while I was cleaning the blood off my scythe. Ironically enough, I had been having the most fun killing day of my entire murdering career.

You see, I played under the guise of the Grim Reaper and kept proclaiming to my victims that I would banish them to the River Styx. They mistook this to be the classic rock band Styx and promptly started sobbing. I'm surprised they've heard of Styx, what with their N*Sync and Backstreet Boys. Or is it Panic at the Disco?

To cut to the chase, I am now forbidden to kill. Xemnas, I will have my revenge.

**Comments:**

_And I thought I had issues._

Axel

_Hm, U R on to something, Marluxia. Being paired up w/U in yaoi utterly sickens me._

Vexen

_FYI, STYX IS THE BEST BAND IN THE WORLD!_

Xaldin

_All caps again, Xal? Where's Jack Nicholson from _Anger Management _when you need him?_

Xigbar

_I'm amused._

Zexion

* * *

**Don't Wanna Be a Mary Sue Idiot**

**Kairi**

I guess maybe next time I'm on here, I'll change the title of my blog. I'm not as bad compared to the other female characters. I played _Shadow of the Colossus _the other day and, thank God, I'm at least not unconscious half if not all the time. And at least I'm not like poor Aerith, who told me that she got stabbed by Sephiroth in her past life. Or was it current life? Wait...What the hell is she doing in _our _game? I ain't afraid of no ghost, right?

Anyway, I could be way worse off. So, hm, Riku and Xion, Roxas and Olette, Namine and Axel...Who's next?

I've been getting hassled by fans and fellow characters alike about when I'm going to kiss Sora. Well, Disney's stupid, K? We're not allowed to kiss until we're at least 18. And God forbid if we actually have some lustful, hormonal thoughts about each other. I can think of several dirty things right now you would be unaware of...Wait, wha? There are butterflies and rainbows in my mind all of a sudden. Grr...Just let me kiss my boyfriend in KH3, dang it!

**Comments:**

_I know, Kai. I can't have those thoughts either. But, that doesn't stop me from getting cond..._

Sora

_I've hijacked UR keyboard, Sora. The Internet public does not need to know that!_

Riku

_Aww...Come on, man! What about U and Xi?_

Sora

_I'm not that overconfident, let's just leave it at that._

Riku

_And this isn't new-school _Degrassi. _Or that dumb _Secret Life _show either._

Xion

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, a major burn to that "Secret Life of the American Teenager" show or, as I like to call it, "The Show with all the Teen Pregnancies." I have nothing against Styx, this was just an attempt to be funny. I actually enjoy listening to that band, in fact. **

**OK, now on to the next chapter. See you guys in five seconds.**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Welcome back. Uh, nothing much to say here except please enjoy this fic. And you will be happy to know Rai has another blog up in this chapter. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 28**

**Hell Hath Fury**

**Axel**

I'm alive, people! And I have now regained my typing abilities, so I expect to get some e-applause in da house! Not like I would hear it, but I'm still overjoyed. Leon thought that he did a number on me, but I've recovered nicely, thanks to my nurse. I love Namine. No, really, I do. She has been there for me and me for her. Forget her and Roxas together. They could pass off as cousins as far as I'm concerned. Not to mention I am still on my quest to prove that I'm a straight man. Even though Roxas is a beautiful, beautiful boy, and trust me, he will make some guy in this Org. very happy. JK, Rox, you know I'm just messin' with you!

Namine and I are bf/gf now (make note this will be the first and last time I use that term), and things couldn't be better. We watch romance flicks together. I find I have a secret obsession with _Love Actually _for some reason. I can't stop watching it. I watch it more than she does. We share sundaes and play video games and hold kittens. The last one is a lie, duh!

**Comments:**

_NOOO, UR goin' soft on me, bud!_

Roxas

_Am not. Nam is just bringing out my feminine side._

Axel

_Just like those leather pants bring out UR girly hips. XD_

Xion

_OK, b/c U have a boyfriend does not give U the right to make fun of me and my relationship._

Axel

_But, it's so much fun!_

Xion

_I'm gonna work out now...-_-_

Axel

* * *

**Thug Lyfe**

**Rai**

Doods & doodets, wat up? U no dat Shion is relaitet 2 Sor? Dat's wat Syfer said and he's always rite. Wood explain why she got dat stoopid har. And Sor's eyes matsh w/lyke 10 peeps. So weerd! He relaitet 2 everboty, I swar. Cood evan b relaitet 2 me. Or not. Don no, really I don. Necst gaim, we'll fynd out dat Sor is relaitet 2 sum 1 else. Prob, its happenin' a lot nou. Wat if it b lyke _Star Wars _and Sor is relaitet 2 Kai. Peeps R gonna thro up. Bat enuff wit heem and Shion

**Comments:**

_Excuse me, but I'm throwing up from UR horrendous grammar! BTW, no, I'm not Sora's sister. That's stuff for the KH tabloids!_

Xion

_I didn't even know we had tabloids._

Namine

_Good point, Nam. They make our game out to be a utopia._

Xion

_I'm still gettin' a kick out of this! XD_

Hayner

Sor? _Really, man? As in a sight for sor eyes? Oh, jeez..._

Sora

_Sora, my brother? Oh God, I hope not!_

Kairi

_Wouldn't be the first time there's been incest in anime._

Roxas

_Ah, that thought gives me nightmares!_

Demyx

* * *

**A/N: It's true. There is incest in some anime. To prove it, I recently read a volume I added to my collection of D. Man manga, and the ads at the back advertised a manga about a guy liking his sister. In _that _way. Sorry, guys, but that crap just disturbs me. It's just wrong on so many levels. Don't get me started on my incest rant please. XD**

**By the way, I'm wondering if the Sora and Kairi being brother and sister theory might actually be true. Especially since this game kind of, vaguely reminds me of Star Wars. Probably no thanks to Xemnas. XD Star Wars rulez!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: This story is over once you finish reading this chapter, folks. You can cry, plead, and beg all you want, but I'm still not gonna budge. This story will finally be over at last, so I won't have to subject you guys to waiting almost a month for updates. Besides, all good things come to an end. And this is gonna end with a bang. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 29**

**A Day in the Life**

**Xion**

I thought I'd never live to see the day. It's just been so epicly glorious that thank God that there is Youtube. It was beautiful.

Xemnas got his ass torched.

Here's the story, morning glory! So, we Org. members were having a meeting, just having ourselves a grand ole time...when, suddenly, Marluxia screamed (like Braveheart) and I quote, "This is for all the times you've held me back, you Darth Vader posing sonnnuvabitch!"

He teleported to Xemnas' throne and dropped a lit firework.

If I have any good knowledge of fireworks, I believe it was a Catherine's wheel. Then, just like that, Xemnas burst into flames. And Saix got all crazy, cuz he's like, "Superior, Superior! Oh my God! Holy..." And he was cussing a string of words. He pushed Xemnas off his throne for the whole stop, drop, and roll thing. Axel, well, he didn't help—actually, he set more flames on him. So, it was pretty bad for five minutes until Saix went away and came back with an extinguisher. Yeesh, what a day!

**Comments:**

_And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling elf!_

Marluxia

_Well, somebody must have given him a Scooby Snack. He's part dog too, really._

Axel

_The Superior needed saving. I acted in the best interests of the Org._

Saix

_The fact that UR sleeping w/him helps 2! XD_

Xigbar

_Xigbar, you menace..._

Saix

* * *

**Subject: Message to All**

Hey, guys, well, it looks like we have a lot on our plate lately. But, I feel like we've learned a lot in the past six months, the most recent of which being that the Org. XIII robes need to be more fire resistant. Ahem, Xemmy, ahem-hem! I'm surprised he only got second degree burns, especially with all the amazed watching the rest of us did. If only Saix wasn't such a kiss-ass! But, anyway, what I want to do is not really update the blog. I'm bored. I want to enjoy new hobbies like underwater basketweaving and mountain climbing. K, I'm only kidding about that. And some of us are gonna be on missions, and some of us are gonna be busy saving the world. Overachievers...

Basically, guys, let's end the drama and the theatrics on here for a couple months. Yeah, it's been funny sometimes, but I'm not sure I wanna confront a homicidal Leon. Just sayin'. But hey, at least Xemnas is cool with iPods now. Heck, come to think of it, he's been bending the rules a lot more lately. So, I'm still hoping for further peaceful conversations between Org. XIII and the good guys. Peace out!

**Posted by: Xion**

**Comments:**

_Aw, my girlfriend wants to create an online UN!_

Riku

_Don't be a sap, Riku. It's unbecoming. XD_

Xion

_Yeah, be a man!_

Sora

_This has been a good run, hasn't it?_

Roxas

_As good as any for some blog._

Axel

_Next time, let's not stalk guys, OK? Ahem, Selphie!_

Kairi

_Yeesh, you didn't have to be so subtle. XP_

Selphie

_I 3 this blog!_

Namine

_I'm 3ing some chili cheese fries right now. Who's with me?_

Demyx

_Sounds good._

Zexion

_One more fire, and I will raise hell. For _all _of you._

Xemnas

* * *

**A/N: Ta-da, that's all, folks! I can not even begin to thank you guys, cuz holy crap, the review total (as of earlier today) has been ginormous. I can't believe you really thought this story was that funny. I know there are people on here way funnier than I am, but thanks guys, for reviewing this and reading this. And faving this too, wow, can't believe the number of faves I got.**

**I can't believe I actually wrote that Xigbar line down. Just sounded like him, that's all. Besides, comedy is all about surprise. And, I don't remember off-hand who suggested Xemnas being set on fire, but you get a hug. Because that actually fit into this story SO perfectly. I owe you. XD Thanks for the suggestions too, guys, I don't think this story would have been half as random without them.**

**You guys are awesome. Peace! XD**


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